Olympics open thread

By · Monday, July 30th, 2012 · 27 Comments »

Is anybody watching the damn thing? My problem is that I basically hate all the summer sports. I like winter sports. I lurve the Winter Olympics. But the summer sports—eh. Lots of people sweating. Unless they’re underwater, in which case I can’t stop thinking about Martin Short and Men’s Synchronized Swimming. (“I’m not that strong […]

Danny Boyle is no Zhang Yimou

By · Saturday, July 28th, 2012 · 14 Comments »

The Opening Ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Several billion people felt the same way, which is why one of the questions in the air ever since has been, “how can London possibly top it?” And the answer is, they can’t. And they didn’t. Last […]

“And now, the always enjoyable giant inflatable beaver”

By · Sunday, February 28th, 2010 · 32 Comments »

The immortal Bob Costas makes the call. The closing ceremonies in Vancouver were even more hilariously weird than the opening ceremonies. I’m officially in love with Canada. Can you imagine the Soviets Russians doing something like that? Don’t get me wrong; I revere Russian culture. But the Sochi preview show was fucking terrifying. Were those […]

Olympics final weekend: open thread

By · Friday, February 26th, 2010 · 10 Comments »

I’m here, I’m at my computer, but I’m extremely busy. So no post; just this lousy open thread. The figure skating has been absolutely glorious this year. Kim Yu-Na is God. Virtue and Moir are the King and Queen of the Universe. Johnny Weir is the Grand Duke of Cool.

I can’t wait

By · Sunday, February 21st, 2010 · 65 Comments »

Only a few more hours until the ice dancing! Tonight, in the original dance competition, reigning world champions Domnina and Shabalin will perform their Sensitive and Respectful Tribute to Brown People. The figure skating has been truly delicious this year. I’m glad Evan Lysacek beat Lord Plushenko, though I would have preferred to see Johnny […]

Day 4 of the Mop ‘n Glo preliminary rounds

By · Friday, February 19th, 2010 · 34 Comments »

Here’s my problem with curling (okay, one of my problems with curling): I don’t believe it. I don’t think it’s true. The people with the Swiffer mops, furiously scrubbing in front of the rock? Bullshit. I don’t think they’re accomplishing anything. Think about it. Curling is basically bowling on ice. Can you imagine if bowling […]

Why I love the Winter Olympics

By · Thursday, February 18th, 2010 · 20 Comments »

They’re fast. Everything at the Winter Olympics is fast — except the curling, which proceeds at a normal, floor-waxing, houseworky kinda pace. But other than the curling, everything is fast. People ski, skate, and slide at superhuman speeds. The Summer Olympics, on the other hand, is just sweaty people running. The 100-yard dash is glacial […]

I hate NBC

By · Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 · 31 Comments »

Today, Lindsey Vonn won the women’s downhill. Gold medal for Vonn, with her teammate Julie Mancuso taking silver. It was thrilling, or at least I think it was. I wasn’t able to watch it. You know why? Because NBC didn’t want me to watch it. Not live, anyway. One of the most exciting events in […]

IOC bans black men from ski jumping

By · Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 · 25 Comments »

Not really. But imagine if they did. Imagine if the International Olympic Committee had ruled repeatedly against allowing black men to compete in ski jumping. Imagine that they excused this discrimination on the grounds that black male ski jumpers were few and far between and frankly not very good — despite there actually being (in […]

Correction: it’s the devil people of Newfoundland

By · Sunday, February 14th, 2010 · 12 Comments »

The video of the devil people tap-dancing: During the opening ceremony Friday night, the sequence above was immediately preceded by a Quebec legend involving a fiddler in a canoe who was dressed like a punk devil — just like these folks, in fact. So I thought this whole thing was about Quebec. It’s only now, […]