Thanks for the memories

Monday, January 14th, 2013 · 66 Comments »

First off, I want to apologize for my extended silence. What started last November as a holiday break from blogging turned into a series of very weird and distressing events, culminating in the heat death of my old computer. The enforced hiatus made me think that maybe it’s time to hang this thing up for good. It’s not that I don’t love you all, because I do. (I’m talking to my regular commentariat, of course.) But the fact is, I’ve pretty much said everything I want to say. I’m done. If this were a book it would be finished by now, and if not my editor would be saying “wrap it the hell up already.”

Do you realize I’ve been blogging for seven years? Holy shit.

There’s also the fact that I’m just sick of dealing with the crap that feminist bloggers have to deal with. I put up with it for a long time because I had stuff to say, and then, even after my personal well had started to run dry, I put up with it because I enjoyed hanging out with my commentariat. But in the past few months the balance has shifted, and I’m just no longer willing or able to deal.

So, this is goodbye. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship and support over the years. I will miss you more than you know, because you guys really have been my friends. But hey, maybe we’ll meet again sometime.

And now I’m going to close, because I’m hopelessly bad at farewells. Especially painful ones.



Filed under: Reclusive Leftist · Tags:

66 Responses to “Thanks for the memories”

  1. cellocat says:

    I will miss you so much! Your sharp intelligence, excellent incisive writing, deep and grounded feminism, warm heart, and consistent integrity have made this one of my absolute favorite places on the web. I am so sad you won’t be here any more. I wish you all the best in the world. You have had a powerful impact on me and my life, and I am sure I’m not the only one.

  2. zind says:

    So sad; I only wish I had discovered you sooner. I was quite alarmed when I saw my subscription cancellation, and I admit I’m glad you’re closing up shop in good health, at least.

    Best wishes!

  3. Sweet Sue says:

    I will miss you because you’ve always been one of the few unapologetic, real live feminists around, but your health and happiness come first.
    So, dear Dr. Vi, I’ll be seeing you.
    Health and happiness and thanks.

  4. Adrienne in CA says:

    I’ve learned so much here.
    Thank you for every word.

  5. Kati says:

    As another who also found you relatively late, I’m probably not one of your regular commentariat, alas… so I can only hope that a hiatus will not only be reenergizing, but also give you a terrible itch to blog again, ha ha! Meanwhile, thanks so much for the writing… you’re really great, and have been an inspiration to me. Should you ever get the yen to look me up on fb, it would be most welcome. :)

  6. feminist lurker says:

    this makes me sad /sigh

  7. Kate Smith says:

    Thank you for your work. I’ll miss your writing.

  8. Violet Socks says:

    You guys are gonna make me cry. I mean that. I’m so sad and ambivalent about this, and now I miss you already. I just realized that I’ve lived in this blog longer than I’ve lived in any house in my life bar one.

  9. Cyn says:

    I will miss you very much. You have been a rock in crazy world. That said, I totally understand. I notice that a lot of bloggers whom I have followed seem to feel the same way. Love and laughter to you Violet. You are one of the best.

  10. Val says:

    I understand completely, although of course I will miss you terribly…
    My long-standing suspicion that my ex was reading my blog was confirmed last month, so I had to take my 9-yr old “baby” off-line; will likely delete it after archiving what I want to save… (not as if it was particularly thought-provoking or “scandalous” – as one of my friends quipped – but there’s no point in possibly supplying Ex w/any ammunition in our upcoming court hearing over fair levels of child support, the bastard!)

  11. anna says:

    Thank you so much for this blog. It has really meant a lot to me. I hope you will not delete it so we can all enjoy reading the archives for old times sake.

  12. cellocat says:

    There are so few safe places, places where feminist thought and expression are the norm, expected, appreciated, and encouraged rather than derided or misunderstood. Losing one is hard. It would be lovely if you could leave it up and we could hang out in the archives. But totally understood that you have to do what’s best for you, too.

  13. ugsome says:

    Violet, you’re a voice of sanity. I’m going to miss you terribly. Will you keep the blog up for archive purposes? We can’t lose essays like Archimede’s Lever. We just can’t.

    If it’s any comfort, there are newly radicalized women out there who are picking up where you leave off.

    You take care of you.

  14. purplefinn says:

    I share so many of the thoughts and feelings already expressed. Your blog is the first one that I visit – even when you’re on hiatus. All the best to you with gratitude.

  15. chi says:

    Violet, I’m a mostly lurker who found you through some linkage or other during the whole SP debacle. And wow, you were like fresh air cutting through bullshit! Thanks for the insight, and the perspective, and the naked Yul Brynner picture, because OMFG.

    I hate that you won’t be popping up around here, but I totally understand, because I don’t understand how *anyone* can blog with the level of blowback it gets you. I have learned so much from feminist blogs that I can only be thankful that some are willing to slog through the shit. If it helps knowing that you all collectively turned this former conservative gen-X-er into a total feminist, then yahtzee!

    Wishing you peace and happiness in real life…

  16. Mike McQuaid says:

    I understand and am also sad. Your writing has been a great source of education for me and I’m very grateful for what you’ve provided. Thanks!

  17. Toonces says:

    Well, I’ll definitely miss your blogging, Dr. Socks, but as others have said, it’s all too understandable. Thank you for your immense (and rare) integrity. I can only speak for myself, but you’ve done me a great service, and I hope you feel like you’ve put in your time now and can lay down any feelings of obligation.

    I wish you good luck and good health!

  18. SophieCT says:

    I agree with the comments above, particularly @1. Even though I’m mostly a lurker here, I’ve enjoyed the posts and the commentary. Your honesty and wit will be sorely missed on the InterWebs.

    What will become of the space alpacas?

  19. Nadai says:

    I’m so sorry to see you go. I’ve greatly enjoyed reading here and I’ve learned a ton. I can understand the exhaustion with all the crap, though. Take care and I hope life treats you well – you deserve it.

  20. Kali says:

    Oh no! So sad! Two of my three favorite blogs closing down. First IBTP and then you. Thanks for all the food for thought you have provided over the years and good luck with all future endeavors.

  21. albrt says:

    Sorry to see you go, but glad to see you’re all right.

  22. quixote says:


  23. quixote says:

    (Oops. I guess it doesn’t wrap an endless Nooo. Previewed okay, but, well, harrumph. Please cut wherever you’d like. The No! stays the same.)

  24. Violet Socks says:

    I hope you will not delete it so we can all enjoy reading the archives for old times sake.

    Yeah, I am planning to leave it up, at least for the forseeable future. We had a lot of really good discussions on this blog over the years. Possibly my favorite thing about Reclusive Leftist was the substantive threads, with people adding new information and thrashing out ideas. They were real discussion threads, not just people saying “me too.” In fact, some of the best ideas and writing (from everybody, not just me) is buried in those threads.

  25. Violet Socks says:

    If it’s any comfort, there are newly radicalized women out there who are picking up where you leave off.

    Do they have blogs? In all seriousness, I would love to know where the hot happening feminist action is online, because if I ever get the urge to sound off about something, it would be great to have a blog to go comment on. Where do you all go?

  26. quixote says:

    There’s my favorite, the Crone of Cottonmouth County at Dreadful Acres, now that she’s pretty much stopped posting at I Blame the Patriarchy.

    And then there’s the occasional post at yours truly’s Acid Test…. I first found your sanity-saving blog because you kindly linked to mine, back in the dark days of misogyny mania during the 2007-2008 primaries.

    I still can’t believe you’re hanging it up. I know I’m repeating myself but, noooooooo!

  27. Michael says:

    We discovered you through Arthur Silber and understand the retreat. We’ve been blogging about 7-8 years and fought the good fight, but now feel the war is lost, even while little battles stir what embers of hope that might stir. Thanks for all your good work—much appreciated. David Michael Green and Chris Floyd have also stepped out. We are losing our most articulate voices. Perhaps it’s time to build smaller community reality. peace, M

  28. Falstaff says:

    Even as my own posting has become sporadic, my checking-in here has remained constant. Health, happiness and the best of everything in your future, Dr. Socks. May you find truth, justice and juicy apercus around every corner. As my eponymous pseudonym himself said, “We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.”

  29. Leslie says:

    Will really miss your wit and posts. Yours was one I always opened as soon as it appeared in my blog reader.

  30. Sheila says:

    I’ve enjoyed this blog so much, thanks for all your funny, insightful writing, and best wishes for your future. If you do end up guest posting elsewhere every now and then, I hope you will let us know back here!

  31. Unree says:

    We readers took it for granted. At least I did, more than I should have. Thanks, Violet.

  32. Gayle says:

    Hey Kali,

    IBTP shut down and then started up again.

    Dare we hope Violet does the same?

  33. Ciardha says:

    I think it’s a good idea to keep the blog online. You might find while doing it regularly is too much, the urge to blog on something might be there from time to time. On my various blogs most the time I’m blogging on my geeky interests, but fairly often anyone reading my blogs find out just how much a firm lefty feminist I am- sometimes in fandom posts. (comes out in my various fandoms fanfic too. I’ve found when I speak out as feminist in fandoms it leds to some interesting exchanges with other feminists of all ages in those fandoms, and the poisonous fauxgressives as well- those 20 something males and echo chamber females- who have been brainwashed to think they are “free” but are decidedly not. And the ‘hipster’ libertarians as well…

  34. Nessum says:

    As a mostly ‘observer’ – and a foreigner at that! – I want to thank you ever so much Violet, for your brilliant writing and for teaching me so much, about the state of American feminism and its impact on her women.

    Take care; all the best; and have a great life.

  35. Nell says:

    Another long-time reader and only occasional commenter who is profoundly sad to see you go.

    Yours is a site I checked every day – even when weeks or even months went by between your posts. I loved your site just for its blog roll.

    As others have asked, please allow us access to your archives. I love (well, kinda love/hate) revisiting the 2008 primary threads.

    All the best to you, dear Violet. Gosh, I’m gonna miss your style.

  36. chrisvee says:

    You will be missed. I wish you all the best.

  37. Nina M. says:

    Oh Violet I am going to miss you so much! This is my favorite blog and you always have something interesting to say. I’ve never agreed with another human being so frequently… sometimes reading your blog felt downright uncanny. I’ve learned so much here, and you introduced me to so much. I hope all is well now… and I do hope you change your mind and come back….

  38. scott says:

    Thank you so much for your work here. I’ve always enjoyed your voice of sanity and common sense, combined with righteous outrage at unconscionable bullshit. It’s a rare combination and one I’ve always cherished. Along with Anglachel, you were one of my favorite voices on the intertubez, and I’m very sad that I won’t hear it again. Thank you, and may the bird of paradise smile upon you, and crap on your enemies!

  39. lynnerkat says:

    I will miss you so much. I’ve learned a lot, laughed a lot, and cried some too. Thank you for your wit and wisdom. I wish you all the best.

  40. Erin says:

    I’ve been a reader for years and will miss your writting. Good luck with whatever you choose to do next. I hope to see you share your thoughts on issues in the comments of other blogs.

  41. Bobc says:

    Time, time, time! What has become of it? Thanks for yours Dr. Socks. My life is less without you………………

  42. Greywolf says:

    I was a bit worried when I saw nothing new for so long. While I’m sorry to see you stop blogging, I’m glad that you’re okay. I didn’t find your blog until very recently, but I enjoyed the few months I was here and I’ll miss reading. Thanks for the work that you’ve put into it.

  43. cgeye says:

    First, I’m sorry to see you go, but I fear the anti-humane blowback will only get louder, because it can, and because the tech industry will not change, not as long as it dovetails with the rape culture of the military-info-entertainment complex.

    Next, I’ll be glad to read your old posts, but lock them down soon against new comments — see the anti-humane forces above, as well as general spammer scum.

    Lastly, Mr. Lambert has extended his invite for you and yours to post at Corrente, which I hope you take up — and I know Dr. Historiann keeps a hospitable place. I hope to keep reading your opinions, no matter where they are.

  44. lambert strether says:

    This is a shame. Thanks for posting so much great work for so long.

  45. Gayle says:

    I agree with Lambert. You will be missed, terribly.

    You’re the first blog I go and I’ve shamelessly used your blog roll as my own when you don’t post. I haven’t commented much on your recent post, only because I tend to agree with you so much.

    I fear this whole blog experiment is over. I hope I’m wrong.

  46. roofingbird says:

    I really am going to miss your wisdom, and your skill at picking apart the insults and respond with a feminist answer. Eventually we all have to walk away from the rock upon which we have leaned, but it’s going to be hard to walk away form you. Please take care of yourself in whatever new venture comes next.

  47. nopasaran says:

    I’m going through the Kubler-Ross stages and kicking myself for not having at least subscribed to your blog. Yours is my favorite blog and I will be missing you so very much, Violet. But I completely understand that you are ready to move on and I wish you all the best.

    p.s. I wish your writings were a book but I’m grateful that you’ll be keeping the site up for now. And how will we find you when you decide to guest blog?

  48. Violet Socks says:

    I had no idea people cared so much. I’m more touched than I can say.

  49. scott says:

    I second what nopaseran said about the quality of your writing. The motherlode for a writer is to have something meaningful and unique to communicate and to do it with a uniquely recognizable voice or sensibility. That’s just a fancy way of saying that you write smart things in a way that, even if we didn’t know who the source was, we’d still say, “Aha! That’s Violet!” If you have a voice like that crystallizing stuff that you’ve felt but never put into words, it gives you this comforting feeling that you’re connected to someone cool Helping You to Figure It All Out. That’s why people care so much. You ruled!

  50. Delphyne says:

    I checked here a couple of weeks ago and assumed that you were on hiatus. I’ve loved coming over here since the primaries – I love your writing, your insights, your deep devotion to dogs, Raul and alpacas. I especially loved your smack down of those crazy MRAs.

    I’m still going to check in and make sure I’m not missing anything, in the event your Muse seduces you back here.

    Take good care of yourself, Violet!! xoxo

  51. lambert strether says:

    ave atque vale (adding link to somebody, hopefully Violet, sees the image).

  52. Artemis says:

    Your voice is unique and will be sorely missed. Brilliant and informed intellect, wicked humor, gifted writer, bold take-no-prisoners feminist who slices to the heart of any situation—put it all together and wow! I can appreciate your feeling you’ve said it all because you have really plumbed so many issues with your readers. You drew terrific women to your blog, and by staying so engaged in the discussion threads, kept these amazing and substantive discussions on track.

    I’m glad you are planning to leave your archives up for the foreseeable future, but that means bandwidth and money. I’m sure many of us would be happy to contribute to keep those archives in place. Probably wise to button up the comments for the reason one commenter suggested.

    The quality of this blog, the distinctiveness of your voice, and the importance of the incisive probing of virtually every dimension of patriarchy by you and your commentariat should outlive us all. There are probably multiple books there if you get to a place of being up for sorting things into different constellations. Start with one!

  53. affinis says:

    I rarely comment here, but I’ve been a consistent reader for years. I just want to express (as have so many others), your voice will be missed.

  54. E says:

    Like others, I’m sorry I didn’t find this place sooner. The surreal humor made the self-education a pleasure. Best of everything to you.

  55. dykester says:

    I turned to your blog several times a day starting in 2008. Yours is the only blog I look at daily. I’ve never commented (I stopped commenting on any blogs after being chased out of daily kos for not being sufficiently awed by our Republican-lite President). But I will miss your clear-eyed view of the world and its motley denizens. I’m most sorry you’re leaving, and I wish you the very best.

  56. JSF says:


    I enjoyed reading your Blog and your thoughts. (Even coming from the opposite sides of the Political line fighting for Social Liberterianism within the GOP –party structure and communicators).

    What made me appreciate you (and put you on my Blogroll) was that you stood up to the misogyny on the Left against Palin (which still occurs at the misnamed Blog, the Moderate Voice).

    May your health get better and success come your way. I hope you find your way back to writing again.

  57. djmm says:

    Thank you for your writing — best wishes for a wonderful life!!


  58. LandOLincoln says:

    As a longtime lurker I agree–please leave the blog up for as long as possible, and post a tip jar so we can put our money where our mouths be.

    Oh yeah–and thanks for everything, Violet.

  59. HeroesGetMade says:

    Thanks for providing the space to have honest discussions about the state of feminism during the 2008 election. So far as I know, you were the one and only, and I learned many invaluable things during that time. I’m glad there’s be archives for the stuff pre-election, I know there’s a motherlode of gems in there!

    Here’s hoping we run across some of your writing further on up the road, be well, and hopefully happy.

  60. snow black says:

    It’s all been said in the comments but I have to add my deep appreciation for all you’ve done over the years.

  61. janicen says:

    Please drop me a line whenever you get back to writing. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and you gotta write. Nobody on the entire Internet writes with your style and passion and insight.

    Au revoir.

  62. Aunti Disestablishmentarian says:

    Happy Trails. May the smoking lounge of retirement have wii shuffleboard and trifle!

  63. tpfka nycblue says:

    Just adding my hearty seconds to all the comments here. You will be sorely missed! Even though I commented rarely, I have checked in daily for the past few years. It’s taken me a while (since Jan 14, to be precise!) to process the idea that you might really be hanging up the socks. My mom, also a frequent reader, is sad to see you go as well.

    Thanks for everything, and hope to hear your voice again in the future.

  64. procrastinatrix says:

    Hi, Dr. Socks,

    Longtime reader and lurker here. Thanks for the blog and the Spirit Smoking Lounge. I’ll miss your voice. Wishing you all the best.

  65. Ann Bartow says:

    Will miss your posts so much. Love to hear from you other ways if you are so inclined.

  66. gayle says:

    I guess I can’t quit you because I keep coming back!

    Hope you’re well!!