Comic Relief
Long-time readers of this blog know that I have a tendency to disappear when the news gets to be too much. It’s cool; I have a wonderful little closet with a nest that I make out of an afghan my grandmother sent me and some old comforters. After all, what I am I supposed to write about? The ocean washing over the nation of Japan? The Texas town that is apparently entirely occupied by brain-eating zombies?
Nope. Not gonna do it. Instead, I’m going to fixate on the two news items that made me literally laugh out loud (literally—I’m talking actual audible chortles):
1. Michele Bachmann delivers a speech on American history, gets the “American” “history” parts wrong. This is hilarious:
“What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love for liberty,” the potential GOP presidential candidate said. “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.”
…
“I’m thankful that you are the first in the nation state because you are the liberty state,” Bachmann said. “That is your charge. You keep that baton of liberty. You’ve done it very well for almost 20 generations from the time the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, and I’m sure the very first one came up to New Hampshire and said, ‘This is where I want to be.’”
See, this is why SNL is going to have a hard time with Bachmann. When somebody is already a cartoon, where do you go?
2. “Knit Your Own Royal Wedding” project book hits the shelves. The Beeb reports:
If you really want to take part in Prince William and Kate Middleton’s April 29 nuptials, you might want to embrace your crafty side.
English knitter extraordinaire Fiona Goble has written the Knit Your Own Royal Wedding book, providing intricate details on how you can replicate William and his bride-to-be, as well as the Queen (and her prized Corgis), Prince Harry, Prince Charles, and Camilla… in wool! And a pattern featuring the Archbishop of Canterbury Dr. Rowan Williams, who is set to marry the couple at Westminster Abbey, is also included.
For the expert knitters out there, each doll takes an estimated five hours to complete. And some are harder than others. “Kate was the hardest for me to create because she is pretty,” Goble told The Daily Mail. “They’re not supposed to be caricatures. Some of the others have more obvious features.”
She added: “Harry was the easiest — he has small eyes and a long face. And Rowan Williams because he has very distinctive wild hair and glasses.”
It may be an indication of my state of mind that I saw this and immediately thought, “There you go. That’s how I’m going to spend the rest of my life.”
And I don’t even know how to knit.
11 Responses to “Comic Relief”
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Cyn says:
Bachmann is too hilarious for words. However, the Royal Wedding in fiber is divine. Off to my LYS to stock up on yarn. Anyone know what color the bridesmaid’s dresses will be?
March 13th, 2011 at 9:52 am EST -
Delphyne says:
That’s even funnier than 57 states and the Great Lakes being in Oregon.
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Violet Socks says:
Geography is not Obama’s strong suit, but at least his mistakes have all had some kind of surrounding circumstances: 57 states was an obvious misspeak, the Great Lakes thing was his campaign’s sloppiness, and his suggestion that Arkansas is closer than Illinois is to Kentucky was made in passing during a brief campaign phone interview.
What is amazing about Bachmann’s speech is that it was specifically about New Hampshire, delivered in New Hampshire, apparently with the goal of ingratiating herself with New Hampshire voters for the presidential primary. And this is what she came up with.
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merciless says:
Is her maiden name Blutarski?
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votermom says:
Knit Your OWn Royal Wedding! Awesome!
Violet, we can teach you to knit! -
Sameol says:
I absolutely love those, but then, I also like way too many items from regretsy.com, so I have to admit I have horrible taste.
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Violet Socks says:
Holy shit! Sameol, I’d never heard of regretsy. That’s how busy I’ve been the past year or so — the whole world is just passing me by. Anyway, thank you for mentioning it. I’ve just spent a couple of hours laughing myself silly over there.
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cellocat says:
And her staff apparently either didn’t prep her for it, or had no idea what she was going to say.
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gxm17 says:
There is so much disinformation jamming the communications (dis)connections these days. It’s both funny and disturbing because it’s just as easy to do a web search and find correct information as it is to find incorrect information but it seems more and more people, and public figures, either can’t (or won’t) take the time to do so. We are living in the Age of Unenlightenment, aka the Disinformation Age. Bachmann is merely one more shining example of America’s unraveling. (sigh)
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naomi dagen bloom says:
@votermom, rather than Violet learning how to knit, might I suggest the better craft would be needle-felting. Sticking pins into interpretations of one’s least favorite public figures, now that’s a craft for our time. Faster than knit too.
naomi, knitting grandma -
blondie says:
1) Scary thing is I heard that Bachmann home-schooled her children.
2) I like the tiny knit corgies.
