Big Ears steps in it again
Prince Charles, I mean. With the “hey, maybe Camilla will be queen, what the hell” statement, which could not possibly come at a more ridiculous time. As The Spoof reports:
Royal Family ‘Relieved and Delighted’ by Queen Camilla Blunder
Buckingham Palace reverted to form today following the Prince of Wales’ latest ham-fisted attempt to have his own way at all costs. The self-indulgent balls-up followed several days of confusion and unease at Court, in the wake of the Susan-Boyle-Singing-I-Dreamed-a-Dream-the-First-Timesque public and media enthusiasm that followed the announcement Prince William of Diana is to marry a very patient girl from the posh Shires.
“There is a growing concern here,” said an unnamed reporter who has infiltrated the palace posing as a particularly unattractive piece of statuary, “that the young couple may actually live a normal, happy life together. They’ve no idea what to make of it. And, naturally, they can’t leave well enough alone. So while unhelpful, largely unpalatable, and certainly threatening to the long term future of the monarchy, the Prince of Wales’ announcement couldn’t have come at a better time.”
Trying in their different ways to cope, the Royal Family fast returned to its usual custom of petty bickering via proxy, opportunistic passive-aggression, and cold indifference interspersed with pointed hostility.
First off the mark was the Duke of Edinburgh, who spent a solid hour shouting out the window of the North Wing: “Stupid bloody wanker! Stuuuuuuuupid blooooody waaaaaaaaanker!” upon being presented with an eighteen inch pile of clippings resulting from the Prince of Wales’ artless attempt to carpet bomb the notion of Queen Camilla into the hearts and minds of people.
Also enjoyable: whoever it was who tweeted “Is Camilla one of the Rolling Stones?”
Actually, I think Camilla looks fine, and I think Charles and Camilla’s wedding was one of the prettiest old-people weddings I’ve ever seen. Whatever you think about them as human beings, they look very nice here:
If someday I find myself a) getting married and b) looking like one of the Rolling Stones, I totally want to wear a dress like that. Seriously. I think she looks fantastic.
15 Responses to “Big Ears steps in it again”
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anna says:
I always felt sorry for Camilla. I felt sorry for Diana too, obviously, but she’s practically been canonized despite her affairs, and meanwhile Camilla gets to be known as “that fat ugly cow who stole Charles away from poor perfect beautiful Diana.”
November 21st, 2010 at 4:17 pm EST -
Violet Socks says:
I feel sorry for all of them. Of the three principals, I find Charles the least sympathetic. His endless self-pity and selfishness, etc.
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anna says:
By the way, did you have any recommendation for books about the history of the suffrage movement in America? “History of Woman Suffrage” by Stanton goes without saying.
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Sameol says:
I feel sorry for Diana just because she was only a kid when she got dragged into this mess, while he was twice her age. I have strongly conflicted feelings about marrriage, monogamy, and monarchism, but on a human level it seems like it would have been a really difficult situation to handle for someone so young.
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cellocat says:
Sameol, I agree. And add to that the intense pressure not to get divorced, and the certainty that if you were to get divorced your ex-to-be’s family has so much power that you could wind up minus your kids. And add to that the horrible public nature of it. You could say that she should have known what she was getting into, but she was so young!
I feel most sorry for her kids, though.
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votermom says:
I remember reading that Diana said (later) when she found out about Camilla, Charles told her something like “Do you expect me to be the only King of England not to have mistress?” Epitome of privilege.
So most of my sympathy is with Diana & Camilla.
Charles seems to have stepped up as father after Diana died, but I don’t like how he behaved as a husband or a lover. -
merciless says:
Love the dress. Hate the hat, which looks to me like an unfinished basket.
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DancingOpossum says:
I agree that Camilla looks fantastic.
The whole disastrous Diana-Charles marriage could have been avoided had Charles stood up to his mother and insisted that he wanted to marry Camilla (who got tired of waiting for him to grow a spine and married someone else). Camilla wasn’t good enough for Mumsy–well, look what you got instead, lady. Death and disgrace, and he ended up with her in the end anyway.
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Violet Socks says:
The whole disastrous Diana-Charles marriage could have been avoided had Charles stood up to his mother and insisted that he wanted to marry Camilla (who got tired of waiting for him to grow a spine and married someone else). Camilla wasn’t good enough for Mumsy–well, look what you got instead, lady. Death and disgrace, and he ended up with her in the end anyway.
To be fair, Charles didn’t want to marry Camilla in 1980 and it wasn’t the Queen standing in his way.
Charles had been steered away from Camilla back when he fell in love with her in the early 70s. His creepy mentor Lord Mountbatten considered Camilla good mistress material but entirely too common to be queen. He insisted that Charles find a young virgin bride of suitable birth.
Camilla married Andrew Parker-Bowles, whom she loved. Then they rapidly developed an open marriage, and she and Charles resumed their affair.
By the time Charles was being pressured to marry (by everybody in the family, not just the Queen) he had settled into a comfortable bachelor life with Camilla as his married mistress. He had no desire to change. And by that point, thoughts of marriage with Camilla were impossible anyway, since that would involve a divorce (in addition to her already too-common status).
It’s possible that if Diana had never come along, Charles and Camilla would have continued like that forever. It’s also possible that, with changing social mores, Camilla would have eventually divorced her husband and married Charles anyway. But I personally suspect that this would not have happened without the huge public tragedy of Diana bringing it all out into the open.
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gxm17 says:
Dang. I must agree. Camilla looks stunning. And the prince of Ears doesn’t look half bad for once.
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Gayle says:
She looks fantastic in that picture. I LOVE the hat and the dress.
I don’t really care at all about any of their private lives although I do believe the new Princess will have a much easier time of it thanks to both Fergie and Diana.
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DancingOpossum says:
Thanks for the correction, Violet! I don’t know why I care about this stuff but I suppose it’s escapism!
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Violet Socks says:
It’s a hell of a lot more fun than politics. Politics is depressing.
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simply wondered says:
ah but it IS politics, vi and you know it!
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Violet Socks says:
Not for us! For us it’s just a show (as one of your columnists over there pointed out, in the process of remarking that Americans don’t have to LIVE with the thing).
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