Oh thank god — we’ll have someplace to go then
Lots more planets found outside solar system, says USA Today (and I love the “lots more” — it’s so chipper, like dialogue from a Doris Day movie):
Astronomers have found 32 new planets outside the solar system, adding evidence to the theory that the universe has many places where life could develop.
Just in time! I’m building a flying saucer out of Reynolds Wrap and frozen Mrs. Smith’s pie tins, and it should be ready to go in a few months. I’m still fine-tuning the propulsion, but early tests with the Pantene Pro V system look good. And I’m already in talks for a reality show to follow along with our wacky adventures as we colonize the galaxy!
Who’s with me?
First suborbital flight of the JF-E POP-3 spacecraft.
29 Responses to “Oh thank god — we’ll have someplace to go then”
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slythwolf says:
This is my question: We know the universe is infinite, and we’re relying on numbers like “omg they found 32 new planets!” to tell us there’s probably other life out there? Really? It’s infinity, this wasn’t a foregone conclusion?
October 19th, 2009 at 2:50 pm EST -
Violet says:
Well, hey, actually we don’t know that the universe is infinite. Our universe, that is — The Universe — the one we’re in. Might not be infinite. Might just be really, really big.
But the report is still poorly written. There’s no reason to suppose that life is rare in The Universe, and we don’t need to find extrasolar planets to assure ourselves of this. We certainly don’t need to find Earth-like planets, which is the huge anthropic misconception that usually features in this kind of reporting. Life could be any kind of self-sustaining, reproducing, organized process. There could be plasma life forms inside stars. Anything. Doesn’t require rocky planets with water and oxygen atmospheres.
I, on the other hand, do require a rocky planet with water and an oxygen atmosphere. And electrical outlets for the reality show TV crew.
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yttik says:
Human beings are so arrogant. We should always factor this in when it comes to science. First of all, out of an infinite number of planets, we are allegedly the only ones who evolved into a significant life form. We’re also the biggest, baddest, smartest species on this planet, which explains why we’re more highly evolved then any other species. And we’ve managed to accomplish both of these things without any divine intervention, because well, we’re just that good.
I’m not arguing the existence of God here, I’m just observing that no, we’re really are not as big and bad as we think we are. Survival of the fittest?? Ha, we’ve spent two thirds of our existence trying to destroy each other.
So, beam me up Scotty, this is a hostile and alien planet, hardly worthy of half the scientific rumors we’ve heard about it.
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Violet says:
First of all, out of an infinite number of planets, we are allegedly the only ones who evolved into a significant life form.
What?
We’re also the biggest, baddest, smartest species on this planet, which explains why we’re more highly evolved then any other species.
What?
And we’ve managed to accomplish both of these things without any divine intervention, because well, we’re just that good.
What?
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myiq2xu says:
In a kinda-related story:
Several well-known chain stores have halted sales of an “illegal alien” Halloween costume after complaints from immigrant-rights activists.
The costume includes an orange jumpsuit similar to prison garb, with ILLEGAL ALIEN stamped across the chest, a “green card” and a space alien mask.
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Violet says:
Re the kinda-relatedness, I think the net is wide for this thread. Our exciting move into space is the culmination of the entire history of the planet, and is motivated by the totality of the present state of the planet. We’ll also need lots of snacks. So really, a pretty wide open topic.
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Honora says:
I am more than willing to do my part and eat some of the Mrs. Smith’s pies (so you can have the tins). Anything for science.
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madamab says:
You know, I’ve always thought that Pantene Pro-V sounded like rocket fuel. Probably could be used that way, too. (Goddess knows what’s in that stuff.)
As long as the snacks include chocolate chip cookies, I’m in. My needs are few, and I can provide wholesome family entertainment by singing and snarking.
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slythwolf says:
Life could be any kind of self-sustaining, reproducing, organized process. There could be plasma life forms inside stars. Anything. Doesn’t require rocky planets with water and oxygen atmospheres.
Quoted for truth. There is no reason for life to look like anything we might possibly recognize as life. There’s no reason we would even be able to perceive other life forms’ attempt to contact us, should they be trying to do so, since for all we know they might have an entirely different set of senses than we have.
Personally I have always figured that the strongest evidence in favor of intelligent extraterrestrial life is that it hasn’t tried to contact us. Who would want in on this hot mess we have going on down here? Nobody with half a clue.
And then every time we discover more earth-like planets I find myself thinking we’re going to end up like the bad guys in half of all science fiction, going around and taking over other people’s planets and using up all the resources and then just moving on.
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Swannie says:
I have been “scoping out ” some of those places for a while now
SLOOH is an online website that allows you to explore space live by mountaintop telescopes situated throughout the world from your own computer :)
Using SLOOH’s patented instant-imaging technology and user-friendly interface, customers of all ages and skill levels can take control of powerful telescopes from their Mac or PC computer and Internet browser. Real-time space exploration is just a click away!
You can take and keep your own pictures too !
great site :)
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Diane says:
Apparently you could snickers or oreos
http://www.jamesyawn.net/candyrocket/index.html
or sugar instead of Pantene ProV
http://www.sugarshot.org/
if budget and available snacks are a consideration. -
LabRat says:
Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart don’t seem to be terribly well-known as science writers, but they’re wonderful anyway, and their writing on the possibilities of life on other planets and what we can possibly expect it to look like is *great*.
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Hedgepig says:
I loved Cohen and Stewart’s The Science of Discworld books. Perfect for non-science minded folk. They have the best attempt at explaining the theory of relativity to the layperson I’ve come across. I still don’t get it, but gee they made it sound jolly interesting.
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Violet says:
Science fiction geeks unite!
The news is weird and depressing. Maybe I should just turn the blog into an alternate universe wiki/forum type thing.
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sarahcl says:
There’s a short story by James Tiptree Jr called The Women Men Don’t See. It’s written from the POV of a male CIA agent, who, along with a woman and her daughter, witnesses first contact. The two women decide to leave with the aliens, because they’re better off taking their chances with them than staying on Earth as it is, and they had planned for just such a situation occurring.
I feel like that a lot of the time my self: I’m ready to leave now
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LabRat says:
Hedge- if you don’t mind the sensation of having the top of your head screwed off and a whole new way of thinking poured in, try their non-tie-in books. Figments of Reality tied together a bunch of previously unrelated concepts for me, as well as giving me some great metaphors for explaining evolution to a layperson.
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Violet says:
The horse sex situation in Tennessee is out of control:
Man accused of horse-sex trouble again
In 2005, Tait was identified by police as having videotaped his friend Kenneth Pinyan having sex with a horse at a farm in Enumclaw, Wash., about 40 miles south of Seattle. Pinyan eventually died from internal injuries he suffered from having sex with the equine, authorities said.
Jesus christ.
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Simon Kenton says:
Rather than accuse Violet of threadjacking on her own blog (horse sex situation in Tennessee on a thread about other planets) I’m stretching for a connection. Will the wacky, wonderful adventures we’ll have in meta-planetary colonization include suspenseful medico-psycho-legal dramas about us attaining ‘animal companion’ and ‘guardian’ status for the adorable creatures on other planets that we sodomize (strictly in order to demonstrate our lofty level of caring and the fact that love is all you need)? Will the adventures get really wacky when they sodomize us?
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myiq2xu says:
Pinyan eventually died from internal injuries he suffered from having sex with the equine, authorities said.
I’m guessing he was a bottom and not a top
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Violet says:
Hey hey on the threadjack — read my comment #6. Horse sex is definitely included.
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Violet says:
On our new planet, there’s gonna be no animal cruelty, no forced sodomy, no none of that shit. We’re gonna be a shiny happy planet by god. SHINY HAPPY.
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yttik says:
A women got cranky about becoming a crime victim:
Woman stabs man, stops burglary in South Seattle
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Simon Kenton says:
I’m guessing he was a bottom and not a top
Well, I’m probably not the most experienced rider here, but I’ve been the recipient of a certain amount of animal cruelty from horses. 1100 lbs of intensely fit, enormously strong animal, and all the instincts of a rabbit – I am prey, see me freak. This horse was at stud, ie, a stallion, and it would be a real poor idea to try to penetrate an iron-shod stallion from behind, which I suspect is what happened. It’d be about as poor an idea as anybody could expect to have in a lifetime. I suppose he could have had himself suspended under the horse, as it is said Catherine of Russia did, but my bet is on taking a 746-watt kick to the chest and stomach. Not DRT; would have been a protracted and painful death most likely from peritonitis. Earned, though.
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Violet says:
This horse was at stud, ie, a stallion, and it would be a real poor idea to try to penetrate an iron-shod stallion from behind, which I suspect is what happened.
No. The horse penetrated him. I have no idea how the horse was induced to do this, but the man was perforated internally and died of his injuries. It turns out a documentary was made about it (and no, I won’t be ordering that from Netflix).
That was the case from Seattle from a few years ago. I’m not sure who was penetrating who in this new case in Tennessee, but one of the same people is involved (obviously not the guy who died). He’s apparently moved his horse-sex operation to a new state.
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Swannie says:
Star Maker (SF Masterworks) (Millennium SF Masterworks S) (Paperback)
by Olaf Stapledon (Author), William Olaf Stapledon (Author) “One night when I had tasted bitterness I went out on to the hill…” (more)
Key Phrases: cosmical mind, telepathic exploration, symbiotic race, Star Maker, Other Men, Homo Sapiens (more…)http://www.amazon.com/reader/1.....%5Fpt#noop
Olaf Stapledon wrote about shiny happy planets :)
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Violet says:
This is brilliant. There are comments on that horse sex story I linked to, and this one is just out of this world with juicy goodness:
pigeontoe
Can you imagine how hard it must have been for a sheepherder to tell about a million people, 3000 yrs ago, that it was a no no to have sex with animals? And we have laws against it today?Can evolutionist give me a reasonable explanation for this law,since you see half man and half animal in ancient art?
Reply#9 – Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:47 PM EDT
Moses, evolution, and centaurs all in one paragraph.
Billions of style points.
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Kookaburra says:
Ha ha, oh Washington.
They’re the freaky sex capital of the PNW. (Oregonian here). Whenever there’s an animal sex story on the news, you can bet that Washington State will be involved somewhere.
There’s a whole bunch of Autophiles up there too. Auto as in car. Yeah, there’s a documentary about them, too.
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Michele Braa-Heidner says:
Hey,
I’m live in Washington State and I swear I have never, ever had sexual relations with an animal! Unless you count that really hairy guy that was hung like a horse!! LOLOLOL!!!!!
Heeeehawwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Michele Braa-Heidner says:
oops, it should have read “I” live in Washington State, not “I’m”!!
