Did Bristol Palin dodge a bullet or what?
It’s bad enough that she got knocked up by Levi Johnston and will forever be linked to him through the magic of DNA; but at least she’s not married to the twit. Best decision the girl ever made.
Levi is singing his song again to Vanity Fair, the song of course being, “so, like, what do you want me to say about Sarah Palin? Cause, you know, whatever you want. Hey, do I get to keep the limo?” Levi is about as believable as The Pathological Liar on Saturday Night Live.
According to Johnston, “She would blatantly say, ‘I want to just take this money and quit being governor.’”
Sure she did, Levi; sure she did. He also says Palin complained that being governor was “too hard,” and that one time she brought him into her bedroom to show her how a gun worked. I know I’m convinced. I particularly enjoy the realistic dialogue and the remarkably good fit with various rumors already floated about the Palins.
“And…and…this one time, like, she brought me into her bedroom and showed me her closet, and was like, ‘I spent $150,000 on clothes for the campaign. I sure am glad I spent all this money on clothes. It was really great to have so much money to go shopping with.’ And…and…like, another time she was walking around the house saying stuff like, ‘boy, I sure hope nobody finds out that Trig isn’t really my son. Boy, that sure would be bad if anybody found that out.’”
No wonder Bristol has decided that abstinence is best. Can you imagine? She probably wishes she could have her va-jay-jay fumigated.
And now the word is that Levi is considering posing for Playgirl. To which I say: please oh please oh PLEASE let it be true. Which is evil of me, because after all, Levi’s still a kid. Sort of. He’s 19, I think. Schadenfreude should ideally be reserved for the misfortunes of those 21 or older.
In truth I feel kind of sorry for Levi. In between the evil giggling, I mean. He’s not much different from the rest of the celebrity trainwrecks vying for attention. As far as I can tell, the main job of celebrities nowadays is to get drunk, take off their clothes, stalk their ex-lovers, and generally make fools of themselves while the paparazzi take pictures. Levi’s a natural.
32 Responses to “Did Bristol Palin dodge a bullet or what?”
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myiq2xu says:
What’s truly amazing is anyone pretending he has a shred of credibility.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:32 pm EST -
Patti says:
Oh, all the brainiacs at Americablog are convinced he’s the truthsayer and Sarah is the liar. I made the gigantic mistake of going over there.
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jackyt says:
Are these actual quotes??????? Really???????????????
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Irlandese says:
God I love when people do all the work of digging their own holes to fall into. *giggles evilly*
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Violet says:
Only the part in the blockquote is a real quote. The other paragraph is me imagining what Levi will say next.
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Bella Donna says:
Did I miss something?
Like the take-over of Vanity Fair and Time magazines by Jerry Springer?
Poor Bristol, I remember having dumped a doltish boyfriend and later being embarrassed that I had ever dated him. Fortunately for me, major news organizations were not invested in trashing my family life.
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Not Your sweetie says:
As the Church Lady would say: How conveeeenient!
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SYD says:
That poor girl. I hope she has learned from this.
Obviously … the boy involved has not.
Holy Mackerel….
Oh and one other thing. Do not the Leftwits realize that if Sarah DID offer to adopt her grandbaby, she would be a heroine in the eyes of the her Pro-Life constituants? I mean… is this revelation supposed to hurt her or something?
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LabRat says:
My favorite part was where he claimed she had him show her how to use a gun. Yes, okay- the daughter of two hunters and wife to another, in a state with one of the most ingrained shooting cultures in the nation, needs her daughter’s teenage boyfriend to teach her how to handle a gun. That would obviously be the first place she’d go!
If that doesn’t scram “overcompensating macho fantasy”, I don’t know what does.
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lalala says:
Jeralyn Merritt’s Palin Derangement Syndrome is showing:
http://www.talkleft.com/story/2009/9/2/201113/9458
She hates Palin so much that she is actually defending Levi:
“Is Levi filled with sour grapes or telling the truth? Who knows, but I suspect it’s both. I don’t blame him. She should never have forced the engagement and trotted him out at the Republican convention. That was just shameful to do to someone else’s teenage son.”
Uh huh. Cuz Levi the media whore totally did not want to be trotted out on national television for millions to see as the guy who sperminated Palin’s teenage daughter. Even if Palin hadn’t taken him to the Republican convention, he would’ve came forward anyway for the money and publicity.
Amazing that Jeralyn can have sympathy for the Charles Manson murderers but has no sympathy for Bristol, her baby, and their family who continue to have their personal lives sold by a teenage father who won’t take responsibility for his actions.
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Violet says:
PDS is amazing. I just saw a comment at the NYT from someone who referred to Palin’s “parading” Levi onstage in a “power grab.” That’s some whack shit right there. For decades, political candidates have appeared onstage with their families at the convention (and everywhere else). But when Palin does it it’s “shamelessly parading” her family in a “power grab.”
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myiq2xu says:
If Levi wasn’t on the stage at the GOP convention he would have been swarmed by the media up in Alaska.
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Honora says:
I’m sorry but he is not cute enough to be this annoying.
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Nora says:
Violet, I hope you finger heals quickly. I can’t imagine how it must hurt. I get a paper cut and it hurts for a couple of days.
This kid is going to be sorry he spoke out like this. The Palins will be fine, but this kid will never live down the fool he’s become.
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Swannie says:
he said she did not know how to shoot a gun ?? I hope she proves him wrong .
You know ,by showing him this video from 2007 of course .
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sister of ye says:
Well, of course Palin paraded Johnston onstage in a power grab. Just like Clinton pimped her daughter Chelsea during the campaign.
But those guys exploiting, I mean, appreciating their children, like that photo of Obama’s daughter “sneaking up on him” in front of a photographer, nope, can’t criticize that because it would be picking on the kids.
Or my personal favorite, Dick Cheney making a show about supporting his gay daughter whenever he wants to defuse criticism or play for sympathy, but goddess forbid he should have her and her partner on a convention stage with him - or push his party to quit demonizing gays for political profit.
As for Johnston, I suspect he wasn’t interested in Bristol as herself, but in “the governor’s daughter,” with precisely the hope it would be his ticket to wealth and fame. I would heartily forgive her if she kicked his ass six ways to Sunday.
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JeanLouise says:
The worst part of this is that Bristol will be connected to this fool forever through their son.
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SweetSue says:
sister of ye says:
Well, of course Palin paraded Johnston onstage in a power grab. Just like Clinton pimped her daughter Chelsea during the campaign.
But those guys exploiting, I mean, appreciating their children, like that photo of Obama’s daughter “sneaking up on him” in front of a photographer, nope, can’t criticize that because it would be picking on the kids
sister of ye, I’m not criticizing Obama’s daughter but I must say that photo of her in the Oval Office was so staged and phony looking that it was cringe worthy. -
Lorenzo says:
I’m sorry but he is not cute enough to be this annoying.
ROFL The comment of the thread :)But this blog seems to attract high quality comments. Something to do with the high quality posts, I suspect. And having a sense of humour, and of the ridiculous.
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Honora says:
If someone can ’sneak’ up on Obama that easily, then the secret service really has their job cut out for them.
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purplefinn says:
sister of ye said: “As for Johnston, I suspect he wasn’t interested in Bristol as herself, but in “the governor’s daughter,” with precisely the hope it would be his ticket to wealth and fame.”
Agreed. When I watched Palin’s speech at the Republican convention, the camera panned often to Bristol and Levi. He almost never looked at her. It didn’t seem that they were close at all. I was relieved when I heard that they were not going to get married.
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Aspen says:
The worst part of this is that Bristol will be connected to this fool forever through their son.
I was thinking about that — unfortunately she didn’t really ‘dodge’ him. Not that I blame her. But I think instead of promoting abstinence-only education, perhaps the focus should be turned to a Dump the Douchey D00d program for young women and girls.
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Monchichipox says:
You beat me to the youtube link Swannie. The amazing lack of recoil while Sarah is shooting that weapon makes me so proud. Once again I’d like to see some old fashioned resolutions of some problems. I’d like to see Todd take him out to the woodshed. I suspect that Sarah would do just as good a job behind said woodshed.
Oh and before it was taken down there was a longer video of Sarah firing. Started with a bit of condescending lets teach the lady how to fire and ended in amazement by the troops.
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votermom says:
Dump the Douchey D00d program for young women and girls
This could be a life-saving program.
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slythwolf says:
You know, I could almost get behind abstinence-only education if the message was “Seriously, don’t sleep with any of the dudes you’re attracted to in your teens. Your hormones are probably playing tricks on you and most of them are probably assholes you won’t want to have slept with when you look back on it later. And if that one dude turns out not to be an asshole, hey, you can always sleep with him later.”
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octogalore says:
@lalala #10: that Jeralyn Merritt article is disgusting. Levi is a teenage dad who will have financial obligations and obviously has zero loyalty to his son, who will inevitably discover that his dad slammed his mom and grandparents to make a fast buck. And she sees credibility there, somehow? No, she sees a fun opportunity to hate on another woman.
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Briar says:
What kind of responsible journey exploits crap like that? Vanity Fair just joined National Enquirer in the gutter. Don’t journalists have any sense of professional integrity at all?
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Sameol says:
Doesn’t he want to be referred to as Ricky Hollywood now? Palin should be commended for wanting to adopt/rescue any kid with this fool for a father.
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Unree says:
@Briar, I disagree: when it comes to national politics, National Enquirer picked itself up from the gutter many years ago. Its stories about John Edwards over the last year have been accurate, newsworthy, and well researched.
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Nora says:
I don’t credit Jeralyn Merritt with any integrity in the positions she takes on Palin or any issue considered anti-Obama. Merritt is in it for the money and/or status she hopes to gain by getting on the Obama bandwagon. Merritt is a classic wannabe.
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the15th says:
when it comes to national politics, National Enquirer picked itself up from the gutter many years ago.
This is true; their sleazy tactics, if you can call them that, are paying sources and promising more in headlines than the stories deliver — NOT making things up, as so much of the public seems to think. They are not the Weekly World News.
Sometimes I think that so much ridicule is aimed at the Enquirer because they expose men’s bad behavior, and Edwards is a good example. I know that Nancy Grace is the target of so much hatred mainly because she takes violence against women seriously and has the audacity to think it’s news. When a publication or news item is slammed as sensational tabloid trash, nine times out of ten it’s because it’s telling the story of a woman’s life.
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Mar says:
A few years ago I met a woman whose daughter had a baby with a guy who she did not marry. The new grandmother referred to the child’s father as “the sperm donor.”
