i can haz bandwidth?
The space llamas say hello.
Greetings, meat people! It’s a brand new month with a brand new block of bandwidth, which should only take me about a week or so to run through if I’m careful. Whee!
Unfortunately, I still have a problem. What would be the worst possible physical injury to have if you’re a person who makes your living by writing? Aside from a brain concussion, I mean, or having your head sliced off with Hattori Hanzo steel like Lucy Liu in Kill Bill. A cut on your right index finger, that’s what! A cut that is deep and slow to heal and makes typing pure fucking misery!
It is healing up, slowly, but it hurts like a mo-fo. I’m having to pause in between sentences in this post to ice up and rest. Jesus.
So consider this another open thread while I continue to contemplate what to do with my finger. Maybe chop it off and get a silver prosthesis like Holly Hunter in The Piano?
20 Responses to “i can haz bandwidth?”
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LabRat says:
Stupid question: tried a thimble? It would be awkward on some keyboards, but you might be able to achieve a rim-strike technique…
September 1st, 2009 at 6:03 pm EST -
Branjor says:
You can haz vote and you can haz bandwidth and you can haz cheeseburger…
I’m sorry about your finger. Don’t really know what to suggest. Maybe use the middle finger to strike keys until the index is healed up? I tried it out by typing this post that way. It’s not too bad, just a little slow.
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quixote says:
Speedy finger healing!
Uh, what’s up with the space llamas? That weird haircut, I mean, that makes their legs look like an anorexic wearing a miniskirt?
I guess we need to start a League for Llama Aesthetic Rights.
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Violet says:
You should have seen them when they had Kate Gosselin hair.
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yttik says:
LOL, I’m quite impressed you use two hands to type! I usually just use 3 or four fingers.
It’s kind of funny around here, I’ve always typed much faster if I do it wrong. There are also no letters on our keyboards anymore and no numbers on the calculator or phones. It throws people for a loop, especially kids.
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Swannie says:
Sending lots of finger healing .. have you tried those little finger cots ??
http://www.walgreens.com/store.....rod3522606and the antibiotic ointment with lidocaine ?
I type with two hands and I can teach typo 101, been typin for years still LIZ DEXIC gets me from time to time …
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Jeff says:
Short term, Lidocaine gel in the finger of a latex glove.
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monchichipox says:
Have you thought of hiring a naked muscled 19 year old to type as you speak? Screw the bandwith hire one of those.
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K.A. says:
We can haz book written by Dr. Socks?
Violet, I want you to write books about feminism and how shitty the Democrats are and to give an actual account of how the Obama campaign and election went down for posterity before everyone forgets about reality and the future generations never learn what happened because they hear about it from some bullshit source and and and write me a book
no punctuation
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leslie says:
Oh, I am so sorry! The same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago. It was so painful (not to mention bloody)! I wish I had known about the lidocaine. I did use the finger of a latex glove when i was trying to wash my hair, shower, etc. Typing was a bear.
(Also, the naked muscular 19 y/o sounds good, too.) -
Unree says:
Fingertips have a shitload of nerve endings, and I believe the right index finger has the most.
The current version of Dragon voice recognition software is decent. Not useful to Violet at this moment, I know, but if anyone on the thread is looking ahead to possible injuries or disabilities now might be a good time to buy.
Speedy recovery!
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sharon says:
OMG didja’ see Fox this morning? First, Obama praises Islam as ‘Great Religion’.
President says Islam is “part of America,” hails the religion’s “commitment to justice and progress”.Are they kidding???? Women forced to wear burkhas, and burkhinis in the UK, along with women on death row in Iraq for crimes they didn’t commit?
Soon he’ll be calling for American women to don the burkha in support of Islam’s greatness. And feminists like Valenti et al will see this as evidence of his feminist support and the openness of US towards other religions.
Kum-ba-yah.
Then there’s a story about how kids returning to school, from K-12, are going to be asked Tuesday to write letters about how the president inspires them, and about what they can do to help him.
http://www.foxnews.com/politic.....-students/I want to throw up.
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sister of ye says:
what they can do to help him.
Take up a collection to buy him a clue?
This cult of the leader is getting pretty creepy. Big Brother, anyone?
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spring says:
Speaking of the cult, friends of mine with little kids are getting stuff from their public school teachers, all about this:
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merciless says:
Ooooh, sorry about the finger, Violet. I did that a couple of years ago. Never did heal properly, but I’m sending all the vibes I have that yours does.
(((((vibes)))))
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Simon Kenton says:
“Speaking of the cult, friends of mine with little kids are getting stuff from their public school teachers, all about this:”
You know, if Bush had done this - especially the part about writing down goals to be collected so the kids could be accountable for how they were helping the president - there’d be a shortage of electrons. The internet would be ablaze with complaints about Big Brother and Dear Leader and Hitler Youth. This, however, is “precedent-setting,” and that’s about all.
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MojaveWolf says:
Ow. Hope your finger gets better. Tho had the positive of making me immediately think of Sylvia Plath’s “Cut” — great poem!
Also, yay llamas!
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Sasha, CA says:
Followed your link, Spring, and OMG, most of these people are absolutely nuts! I can think of few things more absurd than the idea of Obama as a socialist or Marxist. The truth is that Obama is a corporatist whose real base, to quote a commenter from Corrente, is the same as Bush’s: the haves and the have-mores.
Meanwhile rising income inequality puts us on course to becoming a third world country. We’re actually in dire need of populist policies, but sadly Obama is not going to be delivering them.
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tinfoil hattie says:
OUCH, Violet! I’m so sorry! Fingertip wounds - yow! Hope you feel better SOON.
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Monchichipox says:
Simon is right. If Bush had done this the internets would have been very, very angry.
