This also makes me laugh
Obama’s Cairo speech: America is not the crude stereotype of a self-interested empire, from Whatever It Is, I’m Against It.
(I’m not familiar with that blog, so I have no idea what WIIIAI thinks about anything else — apart from being against it, of course — nor should my mirthful reaction to this one post be construed as an endorsement of said unknown thingies.)
Having said that, here are some of my favorite parts from the aforementioned mirth-inducing post:
Speaking at Cairo University, home of the Fightin’ Sphinxes, Barack Obama said that “no single speech can eradicate years of mistrust” but failed to say precisely how many speeches might be required. I’m guessing seven.
…AND WE’VE GIVEN THEM McDONALD’S AND BRITNEY SPEARS: “Islamic culture has given us majestic arches and soaring spires; timeless poetry and cherished music; elegant calligraphy and places of peaceful contemplation.”
…FOR EXAMPLE, IT ISN’T A FLOOR WAX: “That experience guides my conviction that partnership between America and Islam must be based on what Islam is, not what it isn’t.”
…WHEREVER THERE’S A COP BEATIN’ UP A GUY: “And I consider it part of my responsibility as president of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.”
…“SO LET THERE BE NO DOUBT” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “So let there be no doubt: Islam is a part of America.” He didn’t say what part.
…“LET US BE CLEAR” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “But let us be clear: Al Qaeda killed nearly 3,000 people on that day.”
…“MAKE NO MISTAKE” IS ALSO THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “Now, make no mistake: We do not want to keep our troops in Afghanistan.”
…In the most bizarre passage, Obama used American history to prove that Palestinians must suffer quietly: “Palestinians must abandon violence. Resistance through violence and killing is wrong and it does not succeed.” George Washington, War of Independence, ring a bell at all? “For centuries, black people in America suffered the lash of the whip as slaves and the humiliation of segregation. But it was not violence that won full and equal rights. It was a peaceful and determined insistence upon the ideals at the center of America’s founding.” Abraham Lincoln, Civil War, ring a bell at all? Really, did he just tell us that slaves shouldn’t have resisted slavery with violence?
He added that “It is a sign neither of courage nor power to shoot rockets at sleeping children… That’s not how moral authority is claimed; that’s how it is surrendered.” Again, that’s just for Palestinians; we’ll still be using rockets and missiles and predator drones in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan.
…BZZZ. I’M SORRY, YOU HAVE FAILED THE ALLITERATION PORTION OF THE TEST: “I recognize it will be hard to overcome decades of mistrust, but we will proceed with courage, rectitude, and resolve.”
…He explained why it wasn’t unfair to sanction Iran for its alleged nuclear weapons program when “some countries” have nukes: “I understand those who protest that some countries have weapons that others do not. No single nation should pick and choose which nation holds nuclear weapons. And that’s why I strongly reaffirmed America’s commitment to seek a world in which no nations hold nuclear weapons.” So that’s okay, then.
…FOR HIS NEXT TRICK, HE WILL HEAL THE SUNNI/SHIA SPLIT: “And if we are being honest, fault lines must be closed among Muslims as well, as the divisions between Sunni and Shia have led to tragic violence, particularly in Iraq.”
…“LET ME BE CLEAR” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “Now, let me be clear: Issues of women’s equality are by no means simply an issue for Islam.”
…Three, maybe four times in the speech, he returned to the theme of rights for women. Well, one right in particular: “That’s why the United States government has gone to court to protect the right of women and girls to wear the hijab and to punish those who would deny it.” “It is important for Western countries to avoid impeding Muslim citizens from practicing religion as they see fit — for instance, by dictating what clothes a Muslim woman should wear.” “I reject the view of some in the West that a woman who chooses to cover her hair is somehow less equal, but I do believe that a woman who is denied an education is denied equality.” Of course the right he has chosen to emphasize for Muslim women living in Western countries (it will be interesting to see if there is a reaction to this from France or, indeed, Turkey), is compulsory for women in certain parts of the Muslim world, enforced by violence. Obama did not even hint that there might be a right for women to choose not to wear the hijab.
…SEPARATE BUT EQUAL: “I do not believe that women must make the same choices as men in order to be equal, and I respect those women who choose to live their lives in traditional roles. But it should be their choice.”
…WHICH WILL BE A PROBLEM FOR HAITI’S ZOMBIE-BASED ECONOMIC STRATEGY: “no development strategy can be based only upon what comes out of the ground.”
Go read the whole thing.
6 Responses to “This also makes me laugh”
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Sameol says:
Is it wrong that I don’t think Obama is very bright? He sounds as if he thinks women in the Middle East are being vexed by irritating Gladys Kravits feminists trying to force them to go work in the steno pool. Did he recycle an old hit of Schlafly’s? What a keen grasp of the situation, he quite puts provincial Sarah and her belief that the world is just one big 1950’s malt shop to shame!
June 8th, 2009 at 2:04 am EST -
sister of ye says:
I would agree that Obama is certainly not as bright as he thinks he is. In fact, he reminds me of my baby brother (only a year younger) who finds reliance on government evil evil evil - well, except when he has to do it. Then it’s his right as a taxpayer.
However, I don’t recall Palin’s malt-shop statement. Reference please?
Dr. Socks, thanks for the link. That was pretty funny.
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Sameol says:
No reference, I meant the way Palin was portrayed as a simple minded, provincial moron who couldn’t be trusted on the world stage–she sees the world in such simple terms and would embarass us by not being able to handle or understand that the entire world isn’t just like her little town, or some such.
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tinfoil hattie says:
His biggest concern for women is making sure Muslim women are allowed to wear the hijab in the U.S. Wow. What a feminist. Makes me wish he could be put on the cover of Ms. magazine.
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Kiuku says:
Of course we should not impede on the rights of men to dictate what women should wear. The west is about rights, afterall.
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orlando says:
On your recommendation, went and had a look at the site, and also found this delightfully perspicacious:
http://whateveritisimagainstit.....ssues.html
