The road is long
I expect Obama to win tonight, which is frustrating but not surprising. What’s most disturbing to me, though, is seeing women not only vote for this, but celebrate its triumph. It’s deeply horrifying. It’s perverse.
On a feminist website I used to frequent but don’t expect to be visiting much anymore, a woman is weeping with joy over Obama’s expected triumph. God almighty, a woman weeping with joy over the triumph of misogyny — which is to say, weeping with joy over her own destruction.
How fucked up is that?
And then there are the women in fairyland who refuse to believe that Barack Obama had anything to do with the misogyny of his campaign. That’s right: they believe he had nothing to do with his own campaign. He won, but somehow he himself wasn’t involved. Guess it was some kind of magic disembodied parallel universe type deal. The denial. Jesus.
That’s where we are with the women in this country: fucked-up and in denial. We got a long road.
And of course the establishment NOW feminists committed hari-kiri in public this year, so official feminism is functionally moribund.* A commenter somewhere said NOW has become the Ladies Auxiliary of the Democratic Party, but I think that’s too kind. I’d just call them the Ladies Auxiliary of the Patriarchy.
Long road. Bring snacks.
*Edited to add: not that this is necessarily a bad thing, since establishment feminism has been dysfunctional and toothless for a long-time. We’ve needed to re-start feminism, and this election has created the spark. Millions of women are ready for a new feminist spirit. But there’s no getting away from the fact that we’re not very far from where we were 38 years ago, when Robin Morgan (still sane then) was talking about the brainwashed women of the left.
57 Responses to “The road is long”
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slythwolf says:
CNN is calling my state for Obama even though McCain has more of the reported vote right now. I am sick of this shit.
November 4th, 2008 at 9:47 pm EST -
ricky says:
“Long road. Bring snacks”
Fortunately, I can shoot and field dress a moose.
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Violet says:
Yep. The media’s collusion with the Obama campaign this whole year has been very alarming. They’ve functioned as virtually an arm of the campaign. That’s the kind of enabling crap that got us into Iraq. We need a press that actually does its job.
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Foxx says:
Thank you for this site, which is the only place I care to come anymore. We must continue.
The women around me tend to be “liberal,” “feminist,” white, middle-class and lesbian. They are SO NAIVE. Bamboozled babes in the woods.
As well as arrogant, complacent, and terrified of loving themselves, of course.
Well Obama got one thing right. The majority of the electorate are simply stupid.
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Lisa says:
I am speechless right now…now on FOX this group of men are sitting there talking about how Sarah Palin lost the election for McCain. WTF?
Are they trying to absolutely MAKE SURE that no one ever makes the mistake of nominating a woman again?
The genie has been freed from the bottle. Misogyny is the name of the game from now on. Hope everyone is ready to play.
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Foxx says:
Strangely, in the last several days I have felt clearer and stronger than I have in a long time.
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Violet says:
Lisa: yes.
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Carmonn says:
The Bots are all over the blogs right now with their usual outpouring of misogyny. Perhaps someone should alert the real feminists that they’re bound to get tired and will require coffee, hot meals, and secretarial help in this endeavor.
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qaz says:
What I find most disturbing is that this campaign has taught young minds that cheating and misogyny will get you what you want in life.
It’s difficult to see a man with no qualifications get the job over the well qualified and respected woman (who had 18 million votes). I guess this is a bit personal as I have seen it happen in the workplace too.
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RKMK says:
And blow jobs, Carmonn. Never forget the blow jobs.
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Lisa says:
this is so sick. I keep thinking of that scene in Two Women where Sophia Loren is screaming at the soldiers in the jeep that the Moroccan men have ruined her daughter for life by raping her, and they just tell her to calm down and they drive away.
All these people are weepy on tv about Obama winning. Oh joy… another man has succeeded in the US. What a milestone.
How do I explain this to my daughter tomorrow? Should I tell her to be proud of her country for “rising above” racial issues at her expense? Should I tell her that she is a second class citizen and that anyone can be president in this country as long as they aren’t female like her?
Or do I just do the same thing that I did after Hillary had the nomination stolen from her, and say that the woman lost, and let her draw her own conclusions while I stand there wiping my eyes?
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Marge Twain says:
The way he did it, absolutely, this gain for black men came at the expense of ALL women. That’s what I thought of, seeing him take his daughter to the polls. All this teary, hyperbolic press is so, so sad to me.
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Violet says:
I don’t watch TV, so I’m spared the teary hyperbolic displays. It would make me gag.
But it doesn’t surprise me. The rules are different for women than for any other oppressed group. Consider if the shoe were on the other foot: if this were the election of the first woman president, but she’d won by waging a grossly racist campaign against not one but two African-Americans. A campaign where the word “nigger” became the standard term of reference for the two AA candidates. A campaign where the AA candidates were ridiculed and slandered as shiftless and lazy and dumb, where the historic nature of their achievement was completely denied.
In those circumstances, would African-Americans be expected to put all that aside and weep with joy that a woman had finally been elected President? Of course not.
In a patriarchy women are expected to abase themselves utterly. But I don’t play by that rule.
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Lisa says:
Violet, I will be joining you in non-tv heaven next week. My husband and I agreed to cancel our tv service as soon as the election was over. I will be spared the endless replays of the historic Obama speeches, the blaming of Sarah Palin for the loss of the election, and the constant spectacle of the media men choking up when they talk about “the messiah”.
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slythwolf says:
Frustrating but not surprising. Story of my life, story of all my feminism. I am frustrated but not surprised.
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Marge Twain says:
Violet, it’s not even the crowds of supporters I’m talking about, it’s every anchor on CNN that spent the primary season pushing the Gospel of Obama and spitting venom at Hillary Clinton. I just turned it off after an emotional Roland Martin sputtered that the way Obama’s campaign has been run is the way thing will be done from now on(!) Refusing public financing and spending half a billion $$? Capitalizing on latent and overt hatred of powerful women? Benefiting from the most unpopular incumbent in history with the aid of a smitten media?
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Helen says:
On PBS, a bunch of dudes are sitting around pontificating on “all men are created equal” and how the country did not live up to its Constitution for a very long time and “3/5 of a black man” and “all men are created equal” and “all men are created equal” and “all men are created equal”.
I am still naive enough that I couldn’t believe at first that they were not even going to bother to mention the fact that we’re not there yet, because half of the electorate still isn’t counted as human. Nope. They’re to be taken at their oft repeated words — all men are created equal. The rest of us, not so much.
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samanthasmom says:
The “Ladies’ Auxiliary of the Democratic Party” was my comment, and I have officially withdrawn and will not be returning any time soon. However, after a nice long soak in the tub and the better part of a large bottle if wine, I will sleep easy tonight and awake tomorrow ready to fight the fight. Tonight is not the end. It’s a new beginning. Can we prevail? If we work together, you betcha!
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Tabby Lavalamp says:
It wasn’t on such a large scale, but also disheartening was the campaign between Kay Hagen and Elizabeth Dole where “atheist” was apparently the most disgusting insult you could throw at someone.
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chrisvee says:
Lisa: Yes. It’s not as if exit polls confirm that the economy dominated most people’s decision-making process or as if the race blew open after the crash of the financial markets.
Violet: Double yes about those rules. I was discussing tonight some of the similarities between what Hillary faced and what Palin faced. A woman said to me that it’s embarrassing to Hilary to compare her to Palin. A popular, self-made, generally perceived to be competent (prior to the election, of course) governor of a state is an embarrassment to women.
Of course, the highly competent, superbly qualified woman (who is too good to compare to Palin) wasn’t even considered for the VP spot on her party’s ticket.
I’m in the bizarro world.
Also, thank you for this fantastic blog. You expand my horizons.
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Alwaysthinking says:
I cannot play the abasement game either, although I am sick that our country voted for the lies, the misogyny, the intimidation, the race baiting, the filthy amount of money from unknown sources, the abuse and intimidation of democracy and fair voting throughout the country.
I helped fight an earlier war against women and now we have to do it all over again. I am sick at heart and I don’t have the years in life left that the young women innocently celebrating Obama’s win have. But I do hope we can constructively rebuild a fresh, new and strong women’s movement to counteract the organizations that have failed us. In a way, we have been apologizing far too long for speaking up for ourselves, allowing ourselves to be intimidated by charges that we were man-haters because we spoke out for our rights.
(Of course, I do have a few wimps on my list — those scoundrels that engineered this election by using such filthy means to win and never had the courage to speak out against sexism and abuse of democracy.) I will vote against them any chance I get.) I shall hate seeing a smirk even worse than Bush’s and hearing a voice even more grating. I guess we have to stay and fight but Spain sounds inviting right now. Worldwide, however, the forces of evil seem poised against women, with too many “auxiliary” women participating in their own debasement.
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Shane says:
I’m watching Obama’s speech and among his usual platitudes (mentioning just about every divide in America besides male/female, which isn’t really a surprise at all) and codewords (”and we know government can’t heal every problem.”) he’s promised his daughters a puppy when they get into the White House. The appropriate thing to do would be to call it Checkers.
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Alwaysthinking says:
I do have one other question. What do we write and ask Hillary? Why did she also enable Obama’s win against women and democracy? Why did I give her my hard-earned money?
Is she going to speak up for us now? I think Sarah will, but I imagine she also is heartsick.
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Carmonn says:
Obama’s been trying to dial down expectation lately, convince his supporters he won’t be able to do half of what he promised. Luckily, as far as I can tell from FISA etc. his supporters have no expectations of him except to stay male, I think he can handle that.
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Helen says:
Anybody else catch the fact that one of the first things he said was to refer to “our fathers”?
Seriously?
WTF???
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Violet says:
Folks, I want you to help me document those things. I don’t watch the tube so I miss that stuff unless somebody tells me. The “all men created equal stuff,” Obama’s omission of any reference to gender bias, his reference to “our fathers.”
I want to hear it all.
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ugsome says:
That was me who called NOW the Ladies Auxiliary of the Democratic Party.
This has been a radicalizing election for me. From now on it is all about: what will you do for women? If you won’t do anything for women, then fuck you.
There are far-reaching consequences to this. I will suffer economically and may live my golden years impoverished because I will not bow down to any man. My next task is to make my peace with this. I can enjoy life on the cheap and look back smilingly on my fulsome years when men courted me with wine and roses.
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RKMK says:
I didn’t watch, but I’ve already been informed that Hillary’s contributions to the campaign were not mentioned in the slightest, even though she did more events for Obama than McCain did for himself.
Next verse,
same as the first,
a little bit louder,
a little bit worse. -
Alwaysthinking says:
My husband loves to watch the tube, every news show possible, and I have probably made him miserable because I ask him to mute so many things when I have to be in the same room. Don’t know how I can control this for another term(s) of office (and that does not even count public places and doctors’ offices that keep the tube on — where I usually walk outside if I can). I wished for a new king (or rather queen)and look what has happened to us…unbelievably horrible.
We need to maintain television access because we have children overseas in fairly risky countries and I need to keep up with BBC, etc., so I am trapped. Otherwise, the TV would go.
Another question, Violet, from your studies, have you detected whether some of Obama’s corporate sponsors, including the media, have intentionally tried to hold women back? From my lifetime of working, I know employers benefited from not paying women equal wages. When I first started working, they proudly talked about their ability to get very skilled hard workers (women) at cheap prices because they were on location with their husbands.Later, employers continued these practices but did not openly discuss them. Employers often look for excuses to do the wrong thing if it is acceptable to the government — going back to slavery.
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Shane says:
That sucks…. but doesn’t surprise me. Lots of the media coverage tonight (and the implied message of his rambling about his brilliant grass-roots campaign) was about how he defeated the Clinton MACHINE with the force of his personality. Seriously. So why would he bother acknowledging her even when she worked like hell to help him? Afterall, in the eyes of the media he’s a cool dude who needed no help: to quote some pundit tonight, “He beat the Clinton machine entirely on his own with the force of his charisma.”
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Kat says:
Foxx says:
Strangely, in the last several days I have felt clearer and stronger than I have in a long time.
Strangely enough, me too. Then again, I think the presence of this site has something to do with that. Plus, I make really great trail mix for snacks.
In any case, they need to whip Sarah Palin’s dead body. Because they’re scared of 2012, I think. You know, I read about Palin’s rising unfavorables after reading Violet’s final “what you’re voting for piece” on SP and I thought to myself: “yep, they did what they set out to do.” They’ll keep doing it, too. The routine is as old as dust.
In any case, I’m here tomorrow. This is one of the only sane places left in this country, it seems right now. And I’ll be here the next day. And the next. The alpacas are quite nice at this joint.
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Helen says:
On the exclusionary language tonight…for me it was a definite shock.
I didn’t fully believe it until I saw it not just happen, but driven home over and over, that people (men) would snatch this of all occasions to blather on about inclusion while insisting on language that excludes half the electorate.
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Shane says:
This is the part of Obama’s speech I was referring to:
It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.
Besides repeating the ‘bipartisan’ crap, he very conspicuously leaves out gender divides there. This is not an accident.
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jael says:
please don’t, violet. what happened to the big tent?
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cellocat says:
I was at a birthing class with my husband this evening, and horns & a marching band started partway through. Everyone there lit up, and the teacher got so distracted she said she couldn’t concentrate on what she was reading to us, and asked permission to open the doors so we could all listen to the celebration.
Not wanting to experience being a social outcast in this class on the first session of it, I just contented myself with not getting up with everyone else and rushing to the door.
But I’m depressed. He cheated and lied and used misogyny disgracefully, and he won. Now when people around me celebrate, I have to choose between lying, silence, and an onrush of disbelieving disgust. whee.
Sorry to rain on the “we’ll go marching on” theme, but right now, though I know I will, I am so sad, and still angry.
At least my husband and best friend here know how I voted and how I feel, and they understand. And there’s this coommunity.
but oh, it hurts.
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Helen says:
I am happy to say I was incorrect in my above comment about Obama’s speech.
I hunted for video to confirm, and he said “our founders”, not “our fathers”. Whew, that’s a bit of a relief.
I’m still utterly sickened by the clusterfuck of white dudes on PBS though.
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Carmonn says:
Yeah, well, baby steps. Clearly, he should be given credit for not playing 99 Problems or brushing the women of America off his shoulder.
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Carmonn says:
(That was responding to Shane, not Helen)
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m Andrea says:
I think black people needed that. Like now they can feel as if they really do belong here, and are accepted - not just tolerated - and can do anything. It does make me happy just thinking about that part.
I just don’t think sexism is ever going to end, that this misery will go on forever, for women. What bothers me is that the depth of destruction caused by being an accessory to a man’s dick is never fullly acknowledged as an injustice against humanity in the way that racism is recognized for black people.
To do that, one must admit that a man is willing to enslave those whom he claims to love. But the only reason for admitting a problem is to fix it… no man ever speaks eloquently about the depth of pain inflicted onto females, because fixing that painful condition would involve… authentic change.
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Violet says:
jael says:
please don’t, violet. what happened to the big tent?
Please don’t what? Sorry, I’m confused.
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goesh says:
The meme of George Bush the destroyer of America is ended and the Obama camp has about 60 days to still blame Bush but then it won’t fly. The meme of racism also now takes a second seat and I wish the Obama Administration luck in dealing with Iran, Hizbullah and Al Qeada. Aside from that, we will see how committed everyone is to the New Agenda by how deep they will go in their pocket books to donate. My donations will be even more generous once I get my check from Exon and the new deal of sharing the wealth kicks in.
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soopermouse says:
I said at Confluence and will say it here too
Today we celebrate the victory of Barack Obama over the women of America. t has been a hard fight for him, with over half a billion dollars spent, all the media on hsi side not to mention all of the women who decided that their own interests were a lot less important than those of the people who have been keeping them down for millenia.
Today we celebrate another victory of the patriarchy over women, with the benevolent help of many people whom we once thought of as friends and allies. This momentuous event tells us that everyone can achieve everything they desire as long as they have a penis, and that women have once again been sent to the kitchen where we belong.
Today we celebrate the loss of not one but two competent women and the maintaining and reinforcing of the glass ceiling. We salute the amazing political discourse in which women have once again been kept down with sexist attacks to their looks, families, clothes and all other stuff, while obviously corrupt and incompetent men were given a free pass by the same media who brought us 8 successful years of GW Bush.
We celebrate a serious setback of the women’s equality and we salute the victorious mysoginy forces who have managed to yet again keep the bitches down where they belong. -
qaz says:
But the only reason for admitting a problem is to fix it… no man ever speaks eloquently about the depth of pain inflicted onto females, because fixing that painful condition would involve… authentic change.
Thanks for stating that.
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Branjor says:
mAndrea said:
***I think black people needed that. Like now they can feel as if they really do belong here, and are accepted - not just tolerated - and can do anything.***You mean black men.
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Lisa says:
m Andrea, even that makes me mad though! I never in my life thought I would be AGAINST electing the first black president. I am mad that the joy of the victory is so tainted that I can’t even celebrate. When this man slaughters women’s rights to be treated as human beings and treats them like dirt in order to win and then kicks them to the curb with a sneer, it is impossible to be proud of his victory.
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Alwaysthinking says:
soopermouse and others — I’m afraid I agree with you. There is no joy in the election “win.” It has come at a huge cost against the women of America.
I feel a slight bit of comfort with the dark cloud over my house today (no rain expected). Perhaps God, or if you will, Nature, is sad, too, knowing that this is not a true win for our black siblings but a triumph for the worst kind of political gamesmanship, backed by the wealthy patriarchy, that we have seen in a long time. Many were complicit in this coup. What a few men have gained, women of all colors have lost.
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octogalore says:
Lisa, I feel the same way. I am glad we have a black president. All things equal, I would have supported and voted for a nominee of color over a white nominee. It’s important. I’d like to be happier.
But all things weren’t equal. On the most basic level, who here has felt comfortable and at the top of ones game, ready to head the whole enterprise, after being in a job for a year or two? Who then would climb over the back of an earlier more qualified female mentor (a second time) and allow that person to be sullied, then ask for that woman’s help but refuse to appropriately acknowledge it? This is not something I can celebrate.
Remember that book about the Emperor? He believed his garments were made of gold. When in fact that wasn’t the case. That’s kind of how I feel now. Luckily there are a number of kids, in this story, who get it.
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m Andrea says:
No, I really am happy for the black people. But I never defined my terms… Long ago I said that abusive personalities - those inflicting less than equal status on half the human race - are not and will never be commensurate with those of us who have only demanded parity.
This is not a private board. It would be too easy for those goal is to ignore our needs to misunderstand our anger. I am angry at the system which elevates racism to a sacred offense and yet apparently is too blind to see the identical dynamics affecting females.
That willful blindness is why we are perceived as bitter old c**** whining about imaginary offences whereas black people are considered justified in their anger over genuine atrocities.
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m Andrea says:
“for those whose goal”
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soopermouse says:
FWIW Andrea… I experienced that feeling before. I’m jewish. Another minority whose oppression is conveniently brushed aside. I wonder why
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Kiuku says:
Welcome to the Dark Ages of Feminism. After the Dark Ages, the Renaissance.
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Kiuku says:
The fallacy in reason displayed by the pathetic American mass, is this is not a win for Black People, which includes..no, is mostly women. A black woman could not have done any better than Sarah Palin, or Hillary Clinton, and arguably, things have just gotten worse for women, especially black women, as misogyny is publicly acceptable and the dominance of men over all women, especially their wives reinforced. So, no, this is not a win for Black People. This is a win for black -men-.. again.
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Kiuku says:
So excuse me if I do not laud a momentous occasion, as the historians scramble to finish a new chapter of the Penis trilogy.
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Kiuku says:
“On a feminist website I used to frequent but don’t expect to be visiting much anymore, a woman is weeping with joy over Obama’s expected triumph.”
I just went to “feministing”.com, where now definitely faux feminist Valenti has put a fairly large post up about how happy her and her friends were, celebrating an Obama victory with jello shots.
Right beneath that post a dainty “Some minor gains of women in politics” and an propaganda ad about how much Governor Palin spent on her wardrobe.
Sickening. These women are so stupid.
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Heart says:
Branjor says:
mAndrea said:
***I think black people needed that. Like now they can feel as if they really do belong here, and are accepted - not just tolerated - and can do anything.***You mean black men.
Under male heterosupremacy, sexism is racialized. How women of any given race are treated depends on where their male counterparts are located in the race hierarchy that is white male supremacy. So white women, although we are women and are therefore marginalized as femaale persons compared with men, nevertheless experience white privilege compared with women of color, based on the perception (under heteronormativity) that we are the counterparts of white men.
In the same way, not only will black men and boys be benefitted by the fact that Obama is President, black women and girls will be benefitted because of the (heteronormative again) perception that they are the counterparts of black men.
This is why radical feminism focuses on sexism as the core or root oppression; if we eliminate sexism, including as it is expressed as heteronormativity, then there is no longer sexism — subjugation of half the population to the other half — to be racialized. Barring a revolution in human consciousness, basically, racism might continue (as the new core oppression, actually) but it would not be sexualized, just as sexual oppression would no longer be racialized.
I wouldn’t say black men or women feel accepted now as opposed to tolerated, but the barrier has been broken and the sense that anything is possible exists for all of them, as a people, as it did not before. This is a paradigm shift for black people, no matter what kind of President Obama, in the end, turns out to be.
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Heart says:
It’s Branjor who said “You mean black men” up there. Sorry, I didn’t get the formatting correctly. My response begins with “Under male heterosupremacy”.
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Branjor says:
I thought of that, Heart. Now, black women might feel it is more or less possible for them to have the same status as white women, which is an improvement for them.
