The American Scam

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 · 2 Comments »

GaryChapelHill at Riverdaughter got this in his email this morning, and I got it this afternoon. Damn scammers. Who could fall for this?

From: Henry Paulson [mailto:henrympaulson@gmail.com]
Date: 9/30/2008
Subject: URGENT Dearest One
Bright Greetings Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent and important business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had a crisis that has caused the need for a large transfer of funds of $700 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with renowned Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of Treasury in January. As a Senator of my blelegeaured and beautiful country, you may know him as the dear leader of the American banking deregulation movement of 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. All you must does is send a blank check. We will be receiving the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive you’re information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Wonderful salutations to you cherish friend from Republic of America.

Yours Faithfully,
Minister of Treasury Paulson

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2 Responses to “The American Scam”

  1. sister of ye says:

    As funny as that satire is – as well as MadamaB’s play in the following Confluence post – it’s hard to bring myself to laugh anymore instead of busting into tears or just banging my head against a wall.

    The Twilight Zone, Bizarro world, thru the looking glass – I’m running out of cultural allusions to describe what passes for reality right now.

  2. minty says:

    The entire financial system is a scam. Let’s give people who don’t qualify a mortgages while my buddy inflates the appraisal price. Then I sell this loan to another sucker and pocket the profit.

    We also have those credit swap derivatives which is nothing more than unregulated fraud. People bought credit derivatives thinking they could pay a sum betting that company x will go down in value. If company x didn’t loose value then they lost their money. However, if company x did loose value, they stood to gain 10 times the money originally invested. Unfortunately those taking their money were never required to have the capitol to actually pay the return.

    Alan Greenspan and his club wanted Freddie and Fannie regulated, but not his pet project of credit derivative shell game. Other folks making money off of the mortgage pyramid scheme wanted the derivatives regulated but not their own cash cow in fannie,freddie and sub-prime business.

    Now we are supposed to trust these great moral giants with another 700 billion.

    These people have made a mess of this system. As taxpayers, we should buy up the bleeding mortgages at fire sale rates and rewrite them to something that makes sense. Make them profitable and sell them at a profit. The profits go to paying off the debt to free our children from having to be burdened with these nitwits grand plans.

    Any further investment in this country needs to be bound to making something work..not betting that it will fail. We can no longer have an economy that is 70 percent consumption financed by debt.

    BTW we need to buy out all of the credit card debt as well at a greatly reduced rate restructure the debt and keep the profit to fund universal health care.