September, 2006

Just in case you had in any questions about what “purposefully and materially” meant

By · Saturday, September 30th, 2006 · 25 Comments »

Thursday night Congress passed a bill rescinding the Constitution* and giving the President unilateral power to kidnap, imprison, torture, and murder anyone in the world just ’cause he feels like it. All he has to do — though really, do you suppose anyone will hold him to even this minimal standard? — is decide that […]

A Message from the Ministry of Truth

By · Friday, September 29th, 2006 · 7 Comments »

We apologize for any difficulties you may have experienced in accessing this website today. Due to the overwhelming number of bloggers praising the passage of the President’s bold new Anti-Terror Act, our servers were temporarily unable to handle the increased load. All servers are now back online and functioning perfectly. Dr. Socks is currently meeting […]

New theory: Karl Rove has faked all the Democrats’ focus groups

By · Thursday, September 28th, 2006 · 14 Comments »

It’s Day Two of my burning question, What The Fuck Is Wrong With The Democrats? In the last episode, your blogger was wondering aloud why the fuck the Democrats don’t realize that taking a stand against torture and in favor of the core judicial rights we’ve had for 200+ years might actually be a good […]

Why don’t the Democrats speak up?

By · Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 · 14 Comments »

Over the weekend the gremlins in Washington got to work adding a few refinements to the pro-torture “compromise” bill, chief among them the fascinating proviso that habeas corpus no longer applies in the United States. The Washington Post and Glenn Greenwald have good summaries, but here’s the CliffNotes version from Greenwald: Put another way, this […]

Bring back Big Dog

By · Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 · 8 Comments »

God help me, but I miss this man. I miss the Big Dog. I miss having a president with a triple digit IQ. I never gave a good goddamn what he did with his dick. I spent the entire Lewinsky scandal in a state of appalled disgust not with him, but with the Republicans who […]

Notes on the State of Virginia

By · Monday, September 25th, 2006 · 10 Comments »

There used to be a joke about the heated rivalry between Mississippi and Louisiana: always neck-and-neck for 50th place in whatever was being measured — school funding, road repairs, percentage of citizens with birth certificates and opposable thumbs. In recent years Kansas and South Dakota have made bold moves for the crown, but by God, […]

The United States of Torture

By · Friday, September 22nd, 2006 · 21 Comments »

So, it’s official. We’re a nation that tortures. The so-called compromise between Bush and McCain, et al, is that Bush will continue to violate the Geneva Conventions and Congress will look the other way. As eRobin at the American Street says: Now the debate seems to be over. Barring a filibuster of the Great Torture […]

The Pope looks like a giant daffodil

By · Thursday, September 21st, 2006 · 11 Comments »

Doesn’t he? He’s all yellow and billowy and translucent, there on his green hilltop. Lose the Boris Karloff face and the dead guy on a stick, and you’ve got yourself one fine daffodil. A really, really big daffodil, but that could be interesting in a genetically-modified, deeply horrifying kind of way. Like the vegetables in […]

Welcome to Gilead

By · Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 · 26 Comments »

Amanda at Pandagon has linked to a post over at Biting Beaver’s that is just astonishing. Astonishing because for all the talk about how The Handmaid’s Tale is coming true, it’s still difficult to grasp that it’s really happening. Biting Beaver has been denied emergency contraception. She committed the heinous crime of having voluntary sex […]

I hope the next release of Islam will have an irony feature

By · Sunday, September 17th, 2006 · 16 Comments »

1. Christian godbag quotes a Byzantine emperor who thought Islam was irrational and violent. 2. Muslim godbags around the world erupt in protest, responding with irrationality and violence (or threats thereof). A pox on both their houses. (*By the way, this is the most accessible summary I’ve seen of the Pope’s widely misunderstood remarks. The […]