August, 2006

White House tips for living

By · Thursday, August 31st, 2006 · 33 Comments »

Maybe I’m still woozy from the flu, but the news from Washington seems particularly high in comedic value this week. Yesterday the headlines were full of Donald Rumsfeld telling us that we’re in danger from “a new type of fascism.” Why yes, Don, we are, though I’m surprised you would come right out and admit […]

Boulder D.A. wants Johnny Depp to play JonBenet Ramsey in the movie

By · Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 · 4 Comments »

This is one of those posts where the title pretty much says everything I want to say. Take all the headlines over the Karr clusterfuck, add crushed ice, top off with Montebello Original Long Island Iced Tea Cocktail®, and that’s what you get.

The war between the DLC and the people they expect to vote for them

By · Sunday, August 27th, 2006 · 7 Comments »

The only reason to read Rolling Stone is Matt Taibbi (whose sublime smackdown of The World Is Flat in the New York Press remains the single funniest book review I’ve ever read in my life. Alas, the link is dead. Long live the link!) Actually I still don’t read Rolling Stone, even for Taibbi: my […]

Does it never end?

By · Thursday, August 24th, 2006 · 13 Comments »

So, I’ve been sick. (Yes, it’s me, Violet. I’ve wrested control of my body from The Virus, which has retreated to my lymph nodes where it is lurking quietly.) I got online again today for the first time in awhile, and lo and behold if Forbes (the Home Page for Rich White Assholes) hasn’t launched […]

Ding dong, the witch is dead

By · Saturday, August 19th, 2006 · 24 Comments »

Your host, The Virus. Greetings, humans! Last night, as I was lying in bed waiting for Socks to die, I began planning my first post as the new owner of the blog. I wondered how it would go — would people welcome me? would they resent me for killing Socks? — so you can imagine […]

AWOL

By · Thursday, August 17th, 2006 · 8 Comments »

To those of you who have kindly inquired about my continued existence: I’m delighted to report that I’m still alive. Unfortunately, the same is true of the virus that has infested my body and is currently locked in a death match with my soul for ultimate possession of the physical host. I’ll try to post […]

Is the British government as dishonest as the U.S. government?

By · Friday, August 11th, 2006 · 10 Comments »

That’s the question on my mind as I contemplate this news of an astounding plot to blow up the Concorde with a giant carry-on bag full of nail polish remover   white-out   some unspecificed dangerous liquid. Or whatever the plot was. Anyway, the reason I ask, of course, is that last month our government […]

Typical Male Stupidity

By · Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 · 74 Comments »

or Why Dr. Socks is in a Bad Mood. Over at Salon the letter writers are discussing men’s increasing demand for women to shave their vulvas. If you’re a woman, you know that this is true: It *is* a big deal to get waxed if you don’t want to do it…it hurts, it’s invasive, it’s […]

The Amazing Power of Alcohol

By · Monday, August 7th, 2006 · 6 Comments »

Last week we learned that alcohol can transform a saint into a Nazi, causing him to suddenly embrace hateful shit that he’s never ever believed in his entire life, ever. Mel actually loves Jewish people, you see. He would never dream of blaming them for all the wars in the world. Why, he doesn’t have […]

For Mandos

By · Saturday, August 5th, 2006 · 4 Comments »

The entire purpose of this post is to get the South Park image below the fold. Happy? Happy now?