Prostitute Barbie!

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 · 43 Comments »

Prostitute Barbie
Barbie’s been a veterinarian, an astronaut, a teacher, a singer — and now she’s a prostitute!

The new collectible French Maid Barbie features Barbie in a fuck-me fantasy outfit complete with fishnet stockings. The doll is said to “celebrate the working woman.”

I ask you: if this doll were a real person, what would her job be? She most certainly would not be a real “maid,” as in “servant who dusts the parlor.” This costume is a sex-fetish version of the black smock/white apron uniform worn by real maids in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. These women — the real maids, that is — did not wear fishnet stockings and flouncy miniskirts. They also didn’t wear Mary Janes with 4-inch heels; low-heeled buttoned boots were the ticket. (Of course, if you’ve ever seen a Barbie doll in real life you know that Barbie’s foot is molded in a permanent arch, so all her shoes have to be high-heeled. But they don’t have to be Mary Janes.)

So, this Barbie is a “working woman” who’s wearing a sex-fetish costume. Hmm…could it be? Why, yes, I think it must. Barbie’s a whore! She appears to be the kind of prostitute who specializes in dressing up as a French maid for those johns willing to pay a little extra for the thrill of pronging a servant. Well, as any prostitution advocate will tell you, it’s just another career option. Hey, her client is probably Charlie Sheen!

What’s that? Something about how most of her clients are probably fat-bellied chicken-fleshed old lechers with piss-stains on their clothes and breath that smells of Thunderbird and Eau D’Ashtray? Some nonsense about how most prostitutes are virtual slaves who’ve been sold into sex bondage and are regularly beaten and raped? Oh for heaven’s sake, that’s just silly. Can’t you see how happy Barbie is? She totally loves her new job. This is way better than being an astronaut.

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43 Responses to “Prostitute Barbie!”

  1. Paul Tergeist says:

    That ‘collection’ is called the “Silkstone” collection and ain’t sold to little girls. It is sold to collectors. True, Mattel makes them, and has since 2000, but they make what sells and men don’t buy ‘em. Women who grew up with Barbie dolls buy them in a vain attempt to recover their childhood.

    Maybe you can find something timely to get your tits in an uproar about. Or maybe not….

    Silkstone Barbie Dolls, also known as Fashion Model Barbie dolls and Lingerie Model Barbie dolls, are the Barbie dolls that have really captured collectors’ interests in the 21st century. The dolls were the first collectible Barbie dolls to truly evoke the vintage Barbie dolls of the early 1960s in style, makeup, hair and clothing. The dolls have a devoted following, and some even are still released wearing lingerie in spite of a Moral Majority controversy over their attire several years ago.

    Materials Used To Make Silkstone Barbie Dolls: The Silkstone Barbie dolls are made of a very hard vinyl that mimics porcelain. Most collectible and play Barbie dolls are made of a softer vinyl that “gives” when touched.

  2. Violet says:

    Women who grew up with Barbie dolls buy them in a vain attempt to recover their childhood.

    Oh, I think they buy them because the clothes are fun. There’s a whole world of collectible fashion dolls for adults, not just Barbie. Google “Tyler Wentworth.” Not only do people buy the dolls, but they buy couture for them created by fashion designers. I’ve seen doll evening gowns for a couple of thousand dollars.

    Maybe you can find something timely to get your t–s in an uproar about. Or maybe not….

    It’s timely to me ’cause I just saw it today over at Feminist Law Professors.

  3. Paul Tergeist says:

    I saw it there too, but the news is dated by 6 years. We Barbie Ken GI JOE types keep up on this stuff.

  4. Paul Tergeist says:

    Well, we don’t keep up on French Maid Barbie stuff of course! I meant to say that AFTER I saw the reference I Googled and found out all about it. I mean, it’s not like I am a seamstress or anything. SHEESH! What are you implying?!?!?!

  5. Paul Tergeist says:

    What are Mary Janes?

  6. Paul Tergeist says:

    Let me ask a question. I will ask it knowing that it may be the last question I ever ask in a femme blog, but I am not deterred! Who buys Barbie dolls…men or women?

    And who buys diesel-dyke dolls? Men, or women? Or ARE there any?

    Does the Patriarchy tell you women how to spend your money? Does daddy go with little Samantha PoVictimizedMe to the store and convince her to buy dolls instead of a fish stringer?

    Does poor, victimized Paris Hilton feel the crush of the Patriarchy or does she do whatever the hell she wants?

    Whining is not activism. It doesn’t help. Neither does martyrism. Radfems are, for the most part, trying to get your way in the same manner Muslims are. It’s always easier to blame someone else… men are to blame for every evil.

    You can say ‘fuck’ this and ‘fucking’ that because it is the feminist thing to do, or you were raised by sailors (a fact which might surprise your mum), but you cannot spell out “TITS” in a post? I am so fucking tired of this crap and women lying about everything.

  7. Violet says:

    Paul, didn’t I tell you to go look up patriarchy a few threads back?

  8. Andrea says:

    Well then Paul, the only solution is suicide. You go do that.

  9. Alon Levy says:

    Aren’t all barbies fetishized versions of the occupations they’re supposed to represent?

  10. will says:

    uhhh Is there a link to where these horrible items are sold? I would appreciate it if someone could post it. I am going to immediately buy about 100 of these just to get them off the market so impressionable young minds do not come in contact with them.

  11. evil_fizz says:

    Mary Janes are the shoes.

  12. alphabitch says:

    “She totally loves her new job. This is way better than being an astronaut.”

    Yeah, those sucky helmets mess up your hair – but at least it doesn’t hurt to walk in the high-heeled space boots, what with no gravity & all.

  13. Michael says:

    I can’t think of a better way to train girls to grow up to be fuck-me fantasy sex toys than this! Way to go, Mattel!

  14. will says:

    “what with no gravity & all.”

    so that is why her boobs are so perky after all these years.

  15. Laurelin says:

    I was in a hospital waiting room the other day, and a little girl got me to read her Barbie book to her. I really wanted to tear the damn thing up, as I was scared by her intense fixation on ‘Princess Julia’s’ clothes and high heeled shoes. She was an aboslutely lovely little girl, and I wished that she wasn’t having this vapid stuff foisted on her.

    I still wonder if I should have done something different, but i couldn’t refuse to read a story to a little girl.

    Sorry this is a bit o/t, but it has been chewing me up.

  16. Steve says:

    This brings back fond memories of being a little boy the early 1960s when, if a naked Barbie was the only way I was gonna get a view of a hot bod, then Barbie it was.

    My sister caught me disrobing her Barbie and she ran in screaming to my Mom.

    I really liked what I saw.

    When I first pulled Ken’s pants down, though, it scared the living shit out of me:

    Where was his dick? Nowhere to be found. For a second I wondered if I was the deviant, with me — and this pulsing thing in my crotch — being the freak.

    One more look at Barbie, though, and I didnt care if I WAS the freak!

  17. Infidel says:

    …and their elbows were stiff so their arms wouldn’t bend, so putting on the shirts was a trick. They wouldn’t stand on their own either. Half the time you’d spend straightening out the damn carry case/wardrobe, or sewing up the original tube shirt from discarded fabric your grandma had in her smelly sewing box, but I digress..

  18. Violet says:

    Alon said:

    Aren’t all barbies fetishized versions of the occupations they’re supposed to represent?

    Not like this, no. This French Maid Barbie is a departure even from the other dolls in the Silkstone “salute to working woman” series, since the other dolls (nurse, stewardess, waitress) are all wearing realistic uniforms. Pretty uniforms, but perfectly realistic. But this “maid uniform” is no such thing. Fishnets and miniskirt? Keerist.

  19. Violet says:

    I am going to immediately buy about 100 of these just to get them off the market so impressionable young minds do not come in contact with them.

    That would run you about $7,000. Just send the money to me instead!

  20. Alon Levy says:

    Or donate it to Fathers for Justice – they sure need the money.

  21. Alon Levy says:

    Not like this, no. This French Maid Barbie is a departure even from the other dolls in the Silkstone “salute to working woman” series, since the other dolls (nurse, stewardess, waitress) are all wearing realistic uniforms. Pretty uniforms, but perfectly realistic. But this “maid uniform” is no such thing. Fishnets and miniskirt? Keerist.

    Could it be because the maid uniform tries to imitate stereotypical turn-of-the-century manors, who Mattel’s designers probably know less about than they know about how modern-day waitresses dress?

    Or are the waitresses, nurses, and so on supposed to be from 1900, too (I honestly don’t know here – you can imagine I’m not the sort of person who’d know much about Barbie dolls)?

  22. will says:

    “That would run you about $7,000. Just send the money to me instead!”

    And then you will show up at my house in the French Maid outfit?

  23. Paul Tergeist says:

    From 7: “Paul, didn’t I tell you to go look up patriarchy a few threads back?”

    Yes. But if I did that, and you knew about it, I wouldn’t have any excuse for trolling initiating these relevant discussions and cracking myself up in the process.

    to 11: Sure they are the shoes, but why…..oh. Because they have straps. I never heard that before. And I still don’t understand the significance to the Barbie doll. So what if the shoes have straps? Isn’t it a matter of functionality? What dark purpose could those straps hide? I have tennis shoes with velcro straps. Am I sending the wrong message by wearing them?

  24. evil_fizz says:

    Mary Janes are the trademarked name: low heeled shoes with a strap. (Kinda like Chuck Taylors.)

    And no, I think your shoes send exactly the right message.

  25. Paul Tergeist says:

    to 24: So what has that to do with Prossie Barbie?

    And when are we going to see the new Mormon Magic Underwear Barbie?

    PS: I’m sending YOU a message right now! Listen intently.

  26. Burrow says:

    Violet, you rock.

  27. Violet says:

    Aw, shucks.

  28. evil_fizz says:

    So what has that to do with Prossie Barbie?

    No idea what “that” refers to.

    Incidentially, the message reception is lousy around here. Everything’s slow, fuzzy, and incoherent.

  29. Paul Tergeist says:

    to 28: Sorry, it’s an Aussie/Kiwi slang word for prostitute. I am STILL trying to find out, since early in this thread, what the devil “Mary Janes” have to do with Prostitute Barbie and no one will tell me.

    Paul: “I’m sending YOU a message right now! Listen intently.”
    Evil: “Everything’s slow, fuzzy, and incoherent.”

    I suppose you think that is funny do you, Missy?

  30. evil_fizz says:

    STILL trying to find out, since early in this thread, what the devil “Mary Janes” have to do with Prostitute Barbie and no one will tell me.

    That’s what she’s wearing. From the description of the doll: “Matching cap and alluring fishnets lend an air of sophistication. Black mary janes and feather duster complete the ensemble.”

  31. Paul Tergeist says:

    Listen up, Miss Fizz!

    Violet made a big deal of of the Mary Janes up in the essay section when she said: “They also didn’t wear Mary Janes with 4-inch heels; low-heeled buttoned boots were the ticket. (Of course, if you’ve ever seen a Barbie doll in real life you know that Barbie’s foot is molded in a permanent arch, so all her shoes have to be high-heeled. But they don’t have to be Mary Janes.”

    So it is apparent that Violet thinks these MJs are part and parcel of making the doll ‘prostitute Barbie” and I want to know the connection between Mary Janes and the ‘look’ of a prostitute.

    Why do those straps make the doll more sluttish? That’s what I want to know. And the feather duster…is there some hidden sexual significance with that too? Answer me milady, and then this thread can die the death it so richly deserves!

  32. evil_fizz says:

    I tend to think of patent leather shoes as having a fetish connotation, especially when worn with fishnets.

    BTW, it’s not Miss.

  33. Violet says:

    Paul, Mary Janes are traditionally little girl shoes. There’s supposedly something sex-ay about grown women wearing them. There was even a fad back in the 80s or 90s of grown women wearing them with little-girl socks (and miniskirts, of course).

  34. Paul Tergeist says:

    Thank you, Violet. I had no idea. It reeks of paedophelia. I suppose men really are pigs, some of them, and it pains me that it is so.

    from 32: “BTW, it’s not Miss.”

    OK, which of the patriarchal salutations do you prefer? When I looked it up I learned I should address you simply as evil_fizz with no salutatory title at all. I suppose that is best.

  35. Alon Levy says:

    I suppose men really are pigs, some of them, and it pains me that it is so.

    Seriously, stop insulting pigs. Men are a bunch of ugly, hairy scum and I find it impossible to understand why there are gay men and straight women.

  36. evil_fizz says:

    Just evil_fizz, thank you all the same. Fizz if you’d like to be familiar. It’ll be doctor in the not too distant future, but I tend not to care for titles.

  37. Mandos says:

    More thread hijacking:

    http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/05/25/urgent-blamer-intervention-request/

    More evidence for the juju theory of patriarchy.

  38. gordo says:

    Violent–

    Thanks for the info on Mary Janes. When I read the description, I figured I didn’t really want to know what Mary Janes are.

    You can also see the pedophilia undertones in those Catholic school girl uniforms that have now become a staple of porn.

    That’s really blatant, since the whole point of making girls wear those uniforms is that they’re NOT sexy. So the only way they could enhance a fantasy is by their association with little girls.

  39. Paul Tergeist says:

    From 35: “Men are a bunch of ugly, hairy scum and I find it impossible to understand why there are gay men and straight women.”

    Is it time for the “I’m a lezbean trapped in a man’s body” joke?

    36: Doctor Fizz, I have these sores and pustules on my……say, what kind of doctor? Physician? ‘Cause this is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL!

    37: I read Twisty’s blog. Bleh.

  40. evil_fizz says:

    Everything you post on the internet in a public forum is confidential. Really.

  41. Violet says:

    I can only hope Dr. Fizz is going to be a gastroenterologist.

  42. Paul Tergeist says:

    to 40:Thanks! I was worried for a second.

    41: If she is I have a couple extra endoscopes and sigmoidoscopes I’d sell out of my ‘Colorectal exams for dummies’ kit. Comes with a book.

  43. SamV says:

    Perhaps Barbie dressed up in a fetish French Maid outfit to get a rise out of Ken in hopes of saving their long relationship. The only problem was someone forgot to tell Barbie poor Ken lacks anything to get a rise with. Thus the real reason for their break up. (Of course, Ken isn’t the only one lacking since his ex has no hoohoo.)