Pope washes feet on Holy Thursday, will be crucified on Friday
ROME (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI humbly washed the feet of 12 men in a Holy Thursday ceremony, re-enacting Jesus’s washing of his apostles’ feet during the last supper.
Dressed in hand-embroidered white silk vestments, Benedict poured water from a solid gold vase over each of the men’s feet in what he explained was an act of humility and service.
The ritual marked the start of a series of traditional papal reenactments of Jesus’s suffering, death, and resurrection.
Friday morning Benedict will be scourged by members of the Curia, then briefly crucified before a throng in St. Peter’s Square. He will be taken down alive from the cross and then buried in a tiny, sealed tomb underneath the basilica. At that point a vigil will begin as the faithful around the world wait to see how long it will take the 78-year-old pontiff to escape from his underground prison.
London bookmakers are offering 8-11 odds that Benedict will manage to free himself sometime before 6:00 am on Easter Sunday, when a delegation of cardinals will formally open the tomb. Odds of escaping by noon on Holy Saturday are currently at 3-1, with odds of a break sometime on Friday at 5-1.
Most popes find it extremely difficult to extricate themselves from the sealed vault, and popes over the age of 75 rarely manage the feat at all. But bookmakers are unsure what to expect from Benedict, who is celebrating his first Easter as pope. “He’s an unknown quantity,” said a spokesperson for William Hill, the London betting agency. “There is just no way to know what tricks he may have up his sleeve.”
36 Responses to “Pope washes feet on Holy Thursday, will be crucified on Friday”
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Jim Deeny says:
Cool, glad he is doing it for himself.
April 14th, 2006 at 11:49 am EST -
Pastor Pistle says:
THE POPE IS THE ANTICHRIST! Everyone knows the Popes are chosen by SATAN to spread the catlick doctrine of HOMERSEXURALITY AND BUTT BANDITRY, and that all nuns are thespian rug-munchers!
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Violet says:
Pastor Pistle! Happy Easter.
The last I heard, the Pope was blaming feminism for homosexuality.
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CR says:
What the deal with you guys Pastor? What are you doing? You guys are pretty funny. But I don’t understand your purpose. Are you trying to expose the hypocrisy of some people in the orgainzed churches?
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Pastor Pistle says:
CR, if you mean what does Landover Baptist do, it is the most popular Baptist church in the world, and our only purpose is to spread the word of GOD. We point out that the FALSE Christian churches are not GODLY and that Salvation(r)can be attained ONLY by tithing to Landover Baptist and heeding our call to worship JESUS!
Remember, if you have not been SAVED(TM) by Landover Baptist, you are a failure as a human being.
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CR says:
I think you’re kidding with me. I tithe to the the guy on the street who’s having “Grover’s Bad Day”.
You go get ‘em Pastor. I think you’re a good sort. Even if I haven’t clue what on earth you are doing.
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flawedplan says:
There are less fitting ways to spend
Beckett’s hundredth birthday… -
RedDragon says:
He’s a tricky one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he took a concealed blowtorch in there with him.
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Paul Tergeist says:
Pastor, you have my respect. Since about 70% of adult Americans think the earth is less than ten thousand years old, you have nothing but fame and fortune in your future.
Now that science has demonstrated that the earth is really almost 4 billion years old and evolution exists, it just makes the glory of GOD that much more grand, eh?
I see that in the year 2005 respectable scientists are still testing the efficacy of prayer. Keep up the good work. I just tithed $50 to Landoverbaptist.net and I feel SO much better!
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glomar says:
Let’s see– Pastor Pistle, P-P, P for Pangloss. And CR, C for Candide, R for republican. Oh my. They’re both you, Violet, aren’t they. You’re playing with us.
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Pastor Pistle says:
Dear glomar: God hates fags. Give up your choice of sin over Salvation(R) and you may still have a chance. You are sliding down SATAN’S GREASED POLE and it won’t be a pretty sight when you hit bottom.
To Paul: Usually people named Paul, Tab and Harvey are homers, but we DID get the $50. May JESUS save you from the fate glomar is going to suffer for ETERNITY!
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glomar says:
The pastor with the pistle has the pellet with the poison …
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gordo says:
Is it just me, or does it look like Ben One-Six is spitshining that guy’s feet?
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CR says:
Glomar,
I’m not Violet. It’s hard to tell who’s who. And who’s fooling in here and who’s not. I get confused too. -
Alon Levy says:
Well, Pastor Pistle might be Violet, and so might Paul, but I don’t think you’re one of her personas. It won’t surprise me if she uses several names – it’s a pretty effective way of getting people to see activity on the blog and comment.
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Pastor Pistle says:
I’m certainly not Violet!
I am a simple, GODLY man whose salvation was purchased by JESUS’ blood on the cross. Friends, tomorrow is Easter. It commemorates the day Jesus arose from the dead after temporarily committing suicide in order to release us from the sin which He had created for us, GLORY!
I urge everyone to remember this. When you think you know the mind of GOD, you are wrong! Only by tithing a goodly portion of your material wealth to Landover Baptist can you ever achieve Salvation(R).
EVERYTHING that happens is a message from GOD!
PRAISE HIM!
Pastor Al -
CR says:
Yes Alon,
That is what I was trying to say to Glomar. I’m not Violet. I’m a different person.I’m a fan. If the others are Violet I have to say I can’t wait to read her book. The ability to completely put yourself in another persons shoes who is totaly differnt from you is a rare thing. It makes for very interesting characters in books- and also on blogs. -
glomar says:
Thank you CR. Actually PP’s reply was quite informative, and encouraging. Immediately calling me a “fag” strongly suggests a young male. Probably adolescent; probably American. And if a male American high-school student is reading *this* blog, and writing those Pastor-Pistle messages then I, for one, am impressed. Of course if PP’s really a middle-aged African professor of political science blowing off steam, then I’ve really pissed her off now.
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Violet says:
Nobody else here is Violet — or rather nobody else here is me, the real person who pretends to be Violet.
I certainly could create other characters but it would bore me senseless to talk to myself. I also think it would be unfair to the readers. So I’m delighted to report that for some reason a variety of other eccentrics, fabulists, and assorted headcases really have found their way to my blog and chosen to comment here.
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Paul Tergeist says:
So I’m delighted to report that for some reason a variety of other eccentrics, fabulists, and assorted headcases really have found their way to my blog and chosen to comment here.
-VioletI am disappointed that while everyone else is listed at least by their dysfunction I, who don’t have one, didn’t rate a mention. :-(
“Fabulist” is such a mellifluous word don’t you think?
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Pastor Pistle says:
to 18: Dear heart, you may find my picture at Landoverbaptist.net, an affiliate of Landoverbaptist.com.
“God hates fags’ is the recognized trademark of the Westboro Baptist Church, http://www.godhatesfags.com
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glomar says:
… and well he should. Cigarettes are such nasty things.
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RedDragon says:
I am so confused now I am wondering if in fact I am Violet? ;)
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CR says:
No! I am Sparticus!
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flawedplan says:
“So I’m delighted to report that for some reason a variety of other eccentrics, fabulists, and assorted headcases really have found their way to my blog and chosen to comment here.”
-VioletSince this is the closest I reckon we’ll see to a Dr. Socks appreciation moment I just have to say, you’re the toppermost poppermost…I need a lot of help (headcase) in the never-ending battle, and appreciate the skill in directing attention to matters some of us might normally find daunting. I have used this blog as a nonjudgmental but nudging superego, urging me to set free the cork in my own bottle. Nothing bad happened, and am grateful for that too.
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Pastor Pistle says:
Frirnds, it is Easter. I am not going to prech to you because your souls are probably lost anyway, and JESUS doesn’t want us to waste time on Satan’s candles. But here is a nice recipe from our church, and if you need something fast, this will work nicely:
Easter Bunny Stew
Recipe by Mrs. Billy Ray (“Suzanna Beth”) Simpkins
I mean to tell you, this is one tasty stew worth rising from the dead for! You can fix this crowd-pleaser in a snap, a snap that starts when you snap the neck of a cute little fuzzy bunny rabbit. Don’t waste your time at the grocery store trying to find fresh bunny! With a stack of carrots, you can turn killing rabbits into a fun game for your children. Don’t let your kids use buckshot — or you will be picking pellets out of your gums where you used to have teeth. Instead, give each of your youngins a Louisville Slugger baseball bat and teach them to club them “seal style.” Not only will this avoid cracking a crown on buckshot, your children will be tenderizing the bunnies with each deadly blow.
INGREDIENTS:
* 2 large Easter Bunnies (or five little baby bunnies), clubbed and skinned
* 3 cups Campbell ‘s Fiesta Nacho Cheese Soup
* 1 can Red Bull
* 4 cans of Budweiser or other premium beer. Don’t let Pastor see you buy this! And don’t worry – the booze evaporates in the heat.
* 1/2 to 3/4 cup Kraft Mac & Cheese
* 1/2 cup Hellmann’s mayonnaise
* Carrots left over from luring bunnies to their death (cut off any little bunny teeth marks — no one wants to see that)
* 2 to 3 cans of store-brand potatoes
* 1 medium Tombstone “Supreme” pizza, chopped
* 1/2 cup frozen corn kernels
* 1/2 cup frozen lima beans
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 cup of Heinz ketchup
* 1/2 teaspoon MSG
* 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 4 tablespoons flour mixed with an equal amount of root beerPREPARATION:
Have your children peel off all the cute, fuzzy-wuzzy pelts of the bunnies (reserve them to make holiday-themed, furry napkin rings) and rip the flesh from the dead rabbit’s brittle little bones. You Martha Stewarts out there will want to reserve the bloody bunny skeletons to make stock, but if you ask me, instant soup is a whole lot easier! In a General Electric crock-pot, combine the hunks of bunny your children have ripped off the freshly-clubbed animal and all the other ingredients. Bring to a simmer and simmer uncovered for 10 minutes. Cover and cook over low heat for no less than four days.
Before serving, ladle a holiday glaze over the stew (you make this by heating a brick of Velveeta cheese-product with mini-marshmallows, 2 cups of brown sugar, a Three Musketeers bar, and a can of Diet Pepsi until they are all gooey, but not boiling). Embed two handfuls of General Mill’s Trix breakfast cereal into the glaze. Voila, Easter dinner is served!
NOTICE:
If you really love the Lord, and want to take Easter back for Jesus, Please also try:“He Has Risen!” The Passion Fruit of the Christ Soufflé
- by Jean-Georges Vongerichten, personal chef to Mrs. Betty Bowers
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Violet says:
Flawedplan, thank you very much. I started this blog to amuse myself and, I hoped, others, but I never really expected my natterings to be helpful to anyone. I’m more touched than I can say.
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gordo says:
Violent–
Flawedplan is being overly generous. I might go along with toppermost, but poppermost is definitely overdoing it. I’m not trying to be critical, but I think that honest assessments using precise measurements are more helpful than hyperbole.
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Paul Tergeist says:
She shouldn’t use hyperbole anyway; not one in a million can do it effectively.
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flawedplan says:
Paul: Where are we going Johnny?
John: All the way to the top! To the toppermost poppermost!
Endquote, re: ineffective Liverpool boyband circa 1964.
All your references are belong to me. Ob-vious-ly.
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Paul Tergeist says:
Well a man come on the 6 o’clock news
Said somebody’s been shot, somebody’s been abused
Somebody blew up a building
Somebody stole a car
Somebody got away
Somebody didn’t get too far
yeah
They didn’t get too farGrandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street for all the people to see
that
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune, and
We’ll all meet back at the local saloonWe’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horsesWe got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
We’ve got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets
It’s time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send ‘em all to their maker and he’ll settle ‘em down
You can bet he’ll set ‘em down
’cause
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune, and
We’ll all meet back at the local saloonWe’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses -
Infidel says:
YeeeHAW!!! WHUP WHUP! Yeah man. Whew.
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flawedplan says:
What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.
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Infidel says:
for thy sweet love doth such wealth bring
that then I scorn to change my state with kings -
Paul Tergeist says:
No want of conscience hold it that I call
Her ‘love’ for whose dear love I rise and fall. -
Pastor Pistle says:
What a disgusting display of homerism by that English fairy! Just one more book that will be burned when the day comes!
